Butterfly Effect

I have mentioned before that I am a geek.  In geek fashion, I apply things I understand in science to things I don't understand in emotions.  In dissociation, I had emotions but I detached cause, effect, and many times the actual feeling of emotions.  Part of integration was connecting with my emotions and how the cause/effect relationship works emotionally.  One of the hardest things to reconnect was my feelings for my mother.  I struggle with Mother's Day trying to wrap my scientific mind around the emotional fall out.  Today I looked up the word 'mother' in the dictionary.  Several definitions existed.  One definition is female parent.   On other blogs I have seen other similar definitions (apology that I can't site where each one comes from) names such as; egg donor, birth mother, and other names all designating that the only participation that a mother had was allowing the child to be born.  Then there is another category, that of 'mother' that simply for PG rating purposes can't print most of them because the names are for those that gave birth and then went to great lengths to destroy their own off spring.  Abuser is the nicest word.  Then they are the ones that I think were the variety that was intended for each of us that nurture, support, encourage and assist on teaching to grow into independent, well adjusted, caring adults.  The butterfly effect implies that a small event can make a massive difference in the outcome.  The accident of birth to a particular mother can have a massive impact on later life.  Sometimes the effect can be massively  negative.  Other times there are events, people, and circumstances that change this outcome.  For me there were several people that come to mind.  The lady at church that always complimented me on my smile.  The teacher at school that trusted me and encouraged me.  Later in life one of the 'mother' figures in my life was KavinCoach.  His influence was to encourage me to become the integrated adult that I am today.  So how was this a butterfly event when he worked with me for years to reteach me?  I looked at the time when I finally accepted that counseling was what I needed.  For help in looking for a counselor (I learned from a previous experience that not all counselors are good for you) I asked a friend from church for a suggestion of a counselor.  She gave me 3 names on a piece of paper.  A piece of paper about the size of a monarch butterfly set in motion an odyssey of change in my life.  The outcome of where I am today was profoundly effected by a small piece of paper with just 3 names.  I went to counseling to learn how to communicate.  I asked for an inch.  I wanted just this little bit of human interaction training that most people seemed to master that I felt totally alluded me.  What KavinCoach offered was a marathon.  A complete and total emotional make over from the foundation up into a completely integrated, functioning, independent, well adjusted, caring adult.  What an undertaking.  The first task was to assess the damage.  

KavinCoach:  Tell me about your childhood...

Me:  It was great!  We went to the park and we went to the zoo.

KavinCoach:  Tell me an average day....

Me (flat tones): We went to the park..we went to the zoo..

KavinCoach:  You have no idea about your childhood.

Me (sheepishly):  I haven't known since high school.  I was always amazed that people could remember their childhood.  I didn't know it was possible.  

No memories to work from made assessing damage that much more difficult.  As memories were triggered by watching movies and reading books, KavinCoach realized how massive the undertaking would be to reteach what I needed to know for me to become a functioning adult.  He understood what needed to be done and offered me the challenge to integrate.  In a very real sense, I am thankful for KavinCoach who nurtured me through becoming the integrated adult I am today.      
Who in your life nurtured you and had a positive effect on your life?