Practice what you preach. Or better yet, don't preach, just practice. Quote of the day.
This is a work in progress and I realized I hadn't really posted what I have been working on for months. I left a comment over at Suburban Black Sheep that I will copy here. It is in reference to the books I am currently reading on boundaries:
I am actually reading 2 at the same time and both discuss the lack of boundaries by those that do not respect others boundaries.
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend uses Bible scriptures along with their other information. Page 61
Boundaries and Relationships by Charles L. Whitfield, MD. More technical and therapy based but also approaches boundaries more based on relationships.
Both books I am taking with me to counseling sessions to fill in where I am missing information. My first counselor was astounded as to how completely clueless I was about boundaries. I have worked on these books since last July. The first book is more basic, which I needed. It started with what is a boundary. Kind of where I needed to start.
I did start with what is a boundary and wrote papers on each of the areas. The areas included skin, words, truth, geographical distance, time, emotional distance, other people, and consequences. I just reread some of those papers and realized I will probably have to do some heavy editing before posting here. I understand now that I had no concept of boundaries since from an early age mine were brutally invaded at the most basic levels over an extended period of time. I appreciated New Counselor emphasizing that setting and maintaining boundaries is not usually necessary with healthy people since with a healthy person you express a need and they will respect it. Unhealthy people need boundaries set to help establish how your needs will be met and the consequences that go with the boundaries. I didn't write a lot in my blog because I am barely starting to grasp what they are saying, let alone how to use them.
I think eventually it comes in the same way as, "I have an attitude and I know how to use it."
3 comments:
Hey! My therapist just recommended that boundaries book by Townsend ... I need to buy it this week. I'm so looking forward to the read ... :)
Fantastic thought on boundaries for both healthy and unhealthy people. Amazing!
Kiki, I found the book on Amazon. Came in just a few days. I like having Bible verses that go along with the concepts. Enjoy what you are learning.
Thanks Kathy, this is one of the reasons I am liking New Counselors. He has a way of saying things that make sense to me.
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