"Catastrophize"

"For every failure, there's an alternative
course of action. You just have to find it.
When you come to a roadblock,
take a detour."
- Mary Kay Ash

Mary Kay Ash believes the opposite of how I was taught. Mary Kay created solutions.  I became fascinated with her when my daughters started selling Mary Kay products.  Her attitude is totally opposite of what I was taught.  Every sore throat was a life threatening illness, every tiny error was a major drama that steps must be taken for them to NEVER happen again, drama and catastrophes were daily occurrences when I was growing up.  It was my job to fix and smooth over and make everything all better.  I was in counseling before I learned to recognize and counteract catastrophizing thinking.  A quick look on Google I found this article:

What is Catastrophizing?

By John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

Catastrophizing is an irrational thought a lot of us have in believing that something is far worse than it actually is.

This article gives generally about the same information I learned from KavinCoach.  Plus KavinCoach taught me a few more steps to help me see past this type of thinking.  I stop and ask myself a few questions:

1. Is this problem as actually as bad as I think it is?  Sometimes a problem really is at catastrophic levels, a loss of a loved one, a fire in the home, a car accident, cancer, plus many other things actually do fit in the category of being catastrophic.

2.  Have I encountered the problem before?  Yup, I noticed in my lessons in life that the same problem keeps coming back, like the movie Groundhog Day.  I believe they keep coming back until I learn what I need to know to move on.

3.  If the problem has occurred before, did I find a successful answer or do I need to look for new in put?

4.  Who do I know that might be able to help me understand the problem?  I often go to the library or internet because I did learn from my mother that somebody else usually had the same problem and wrote a book about it.  Now, people blog about the problems they face.  What other people have written has made a huge difference in my life.  I appreciate my fellow bloggers.

  5.  Can I define the problem in such away that I can explain it to someone else?  KavinCoach reminded me regularly that defining a problem gets you more than half way to the solution.

6.  For me, if my reaction to the problem is extreme compared to the actual event, is there a trigger hidden at the center of the problem?  I am learning that the events I tend to Catastrophize are usually powder-kegs from past that just blew up in my face.  Those problems are real too.  I need to address them and I am thankful I have an awesome counselor that can help me do this. 

7.  Brainstorm solutions and decide one small step toward that solution.   I don't need the entire solution...just one small piece to get me started.  I figure that God can't guide me if I don't move.

8. Yes, I do pray over my problems.  Even when I worked with computers I had more than one pray start with, "OK God you know better than anyone how these things work..."  I also learned if I invited Heavenly Father to my problem solving I would get answers at the weirdest times like driving home from work when the problem is at work.  I smile say a prayer of thanks and plan how to implement the solution the next day.

Catastrophizing still creeps into my life but I now think of the book "If you give a Mouse a Cookie."  I smile and try to find the first step to a solution.