tomorrow will be our doubts of today."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
I hit my reset button. Tuesday night I fell asleep long before my normal bed time. I slept more hours in one night than I usually do in two....so what's up with that? I think back over the past several weeks, I ran myself to empty. Nothing more to give. When I get like this, negative tapes of self doubt scream in my head. My sister's suggestion of counteracting it with "I am belong to God" stays unsaid. Swamped with feelings of inadequacy. I am totally overwhelmed at my work. We are 3 weeks into school and I feel like I am two weeks behind already. I am forgetting important things I am supposed to do. I am stressing over what I should write. I am so tired I can't seem to put my thoughts together. I have over a 100 drafts that I could polish up and post but I sat and played a word game. Beat some levels. Then I sat down to catch up on some posts I haven't read and there is Joel....nagging me about Drafts unpublished just don't count because nobody can read them. You can check it out yourself http://impossiblehq.com/life-in-draft
I am amused by the picture he posted with the article. Sometimes we need to draw ourselves a pair of legs and get moving. One of the challenges I had with counseling was how often my reaction to stress was to freeze, lockup, not move, blank out, bury my head...you get the picture. When I feel unsure of where I am going, I arrive nowhere fast. I have projects out my ears to do. I set one project aside and everything else is following it into my bog of inaction. I was supposed to set one project aside, not all of them. But there it is, the constant challenge of keep moving. The knowledge that on the move I am more likely to splat on my face but immobile I may not splat but I don't do anything else either. I am going to remind myself in the morning that just like Myfitnesspal.com giving me a new allotment of calories tomorrow morning, I also get a new allotment of minutes in the morning, too. I need to get to sleep before morning comes with its new minutes before I get some sleep. Good night. :)
8 comments:
Buddha reminds us that every day when we wake up we get another chance at a whole new day.
AA's philosophy of "One day at a time" and "One step at a time" doesn't just work for those with addictions, it can help everyone face their challenges.
My favourite part of the poem "Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow" is: "Anyone can carry the burdens of just one day."
You've beat so many things, Ruth, you've got this! Have a great 24 hours and forget about the rest.
Thanks mulderfan.
You do know my little mantra doesn't always work? It simply works more than anything else I've tried. Sometimes we don't give ourselves enough credit for making it through 100% of our bad days.
Sleep is sooooooimportant. It's a good sign you are thinking of how to better take care of yourself.
Thank you Judy and vicariousrising, I appreciate your encouragement. I am smiling as I think we do not have to get through bad days perfectly. :)
Be kind whenever possible,it is always possible. ~ Dalai Lama.
You've got to be kind to yourself.
Bless your heart,Ruth!
Love,Angela.
Getting back into the swing of things can be hard. It sounds like you've had a lot to deal with.
I'm glad you are resting and hope you are taking care of yourself. Sometimes a little rest can make it all seem more manageable.
And I've found your sisters saying of "you don't have to do all of it to do some of it" (or something to that effect) has helped me to get some momentum in the past.
Hang in there and thinking of you!
Thank you Angela and Jessie.
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