distance you traveled from
where you started.
- Proverb
I am out of sorts, frustrated, and hiding answers from myself. I hate this feeling and it has lingered for weeks. I now understand why preparing to stop counseling is so difficult. Weekly counseling I have someone to talk to that will help me sift through my thoughts without feeling offended or trying to 'fix' me. I was fortunate to have two great counselors that focused on teaching me to be an independent healthy adult. However, I am still trying to learn to sort out chaotic thoughts when they come form multiple sources. I am going to try to write about the things that seem to be pressing on my mind....I am employed at a school. I worked on a huge project for the first two weeks. In the process, I am now behind on getting everything else done. I am struggling knowing that by this time I should have other stuff done already. Instead, I don't even have them started. I am frustrated and anxious every time I am asked to do something else. Also back at school I am watching other people eat, a lot more food than I am. I am feeling picked on. I keep reminding myself I am choosing to loose weight so that requires different choices than I made in the past. To loose weight, I had to change my eating habits. Over the summer, I didn't compare my choices to anybody else. It was easier. Now, I see what other people are eating for lunch. I brought a book to read and I may start using lunch time as a catch up on my reading time. If I don't see what they are eating I won't feel like I am deprived. (Easy to say after eating two lovely pieces of pizza, thank goodness for the elliptical to burn some of those calories.) There is stumbling block loosing weight. I knew it would be stressful. What I didn't expect was how much I would enjoy taking on harder physical challenges. About this time last year I was introduced to Joel's impossible blog. He challenged me to 10 minutes of different types of exercises that really pushed me. Last February, I did my first mud run with about 5 K with 15 challenges including mud puddles, net climbing and over/under barricades. My daughter did it with me and I finished. Now, I bought some DVD's by Bob Harper, one of the trainers from the biggest looser. Oh my goodness. I stepped up to activities that I never been able to do and some of my muscles are really whining. (No, I cannot have cheese with my whine, too many calories.) With all the crap of not getting stuff done at school I was feeling a bit like a failure, I am not keeping up. Writing this I am reminding myself of how far I have come. Wow. I am doing better than I thought. Deep breathes. Time to play on Facebook.
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2 comments:
A Bob Harper workout - that is wonderful. I just started watching the biggest loser and his workouts look amazing. Cheers to the distance you have traveled. xx
Thanks TR...Biggest Loser is where I learned about Bob. He uses his brand of encouragement on his tape too. He expects me to push myself but doesn't beat me up if I need to put the weights down...He keeps reminding me to keep moving. He reminds me that only I can choose to get off the couch and move my body. He is very big on personal responsibility without telling me I am rotten. I think I like what he says as much as the exercises he has me do. However, I have to be careful to not hurt myself in my enthusiasm to meet his level of work out.
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