Ways to deal with Negative people

http://www.purposefairy.com/10357/9-clever-ways-to-deal-with-negative-people/


I love Purpose Fairy's no-nonsense take responsibility for yourself perspective.  The article is great.  What I got me thinking is what do I do when I am the 'negative people.'  Will the steps work for dealing with my own negativity?

1. Ownership

 I do not need to be a victim of my own negativity.  To change it, I need to own it.  If it is my negativity then I can decide what to do about. 

2. LIKE attracts LIKE

I noticed that the more negative I feel, the more negative things happen in my life. 

http://findingyoursoul.com/2011/06/what-kind-of-people-live-here/

"A man entered a village and went to the monastery on the edge of town, where he was welcomed by an old monk, the wise man of the village. The visitor said, “I am deciding whether I should move here or not. I’m wondering what kind of neighborhood this is. Can you tell me about the people here?

"The old monk said, “Tell me what kind of people lived where you came from.” The visitor said, “Oh, they were highway robbers, cheats and liars.” The monk said, “You know, those are exactly the same kinds of people who live here.” The visitor left the village and never came back.

Half an hour later, another man entered the village. He sought out the wise old man and said, “I’m thinking of moving here. Can you tell me what kind of people live here?” Again the monk said, “Tell me what kind of people lived where you came from.” The visitor said, “Oh, they were the kindest, gentlest, most compassionate, most loving people. I shall miss them terribly. The old monk said, “Those are exactly the kinds of people who live here, too.”

3. Don’t take your thoughts too seriously

Reminding myself that my negativity is a reaction and not who I am is a very important remember.  Asking myself a few questions can help me zero in on the source:
What is about my thoughts that are triggering me? 
Do I have unmet needs that are pressuring me, like how much sleep am I getting and when did I last eat?
Is there events that I am feeling over whelmed or angry and I am using negativity to suppress what I am feeling?  

4. Shift your focus

How can I view what I am feeling differently?  Do I need a new perspective?  One of the powerful things I discovered in counseling was both my counselors have very different perspectives from me and each other.  Getting a different perspective changes my out look. 

5. Don’t make their problems your problems

If I am feeling negative, did I take on someone else's problem?  Am what I am dealing with right now something I actually care about or is someone trying to get me to solve their problem which depresses me? 

6. Let go of your need to complain

Am I complaining just to join a bunch of other people that are also complaining?  Am I getting caught up in mob mentality of lets complain together?  Refer back to 1 to make sure I am taking responsibility for how I feel.

7. Raise your positive energy

What activities are helpful to me to raise my feelings of positive energy, prayer, a break, reading for enjoyment, a few minutes on a computer game, do something about what is depressing me, make choices that I know work to move me closer to the positive end of the mood continuum. 

8. Be the change you want to see in your world

Don't expect someone else to come to the rescue to fix my world.  If I want my world to change then I am responsible for changing it.  Waiting for rescue only increases feelings of depression when no one comes. 

9. Simultaneous Awareness

Fancy way of saying "Shit happens."  In everyone's life, and that is a very big group, both good and bad things happen.  After good days, there are bad days.  After happy times there are sad times.  MyCounselor is teaching me the value of sitting with my emotions whatever I am feeling.  This doesn't mean that I let that emotion control my actions but it does mean I acknowledge and own how I feel.  That acknowledgment that my emotions have value and worth taught me to  allow myself to feel them.  It is interesting that emotions can behave like toddlers.  If I ignore them when they are good, then they will behave badly until I pay attention.  One way or another my emotions want my attention. 

Yup, her steps work for how to deal with negative people when that person is me.