Our Power

http://positiveoutlooksblog.com/2013/11/01/the-seeds-of-failure-or-the-potential-for-greatness/

High on a hilltop overlooking the beautiful city of Venice, Italy, there lived an old man who was a genius. Legend had it he could answer any question anyone might ask of him. Two of the local boys figured they could fool the old man, so they caught a small bird and headed for his residence.

One of the boys held the little bird in his hands and asked the old man if the bird was dead or alive. Without hesitation the old man said, ” Son, if I say to you that the bird is alive, you will close your hands and crush him to death. If I say the bird is dead, you will open your hands and he will fly away. You see, son, in your hands you hold the power of life and death.”
In your hands you hold the seeds of failure or the potential for greatness. Your hands are capable but they must be used – and for the right things – to reap the rewards you are capable of attaining.
Story Source: Unknown

One of the things I struggled with understanding was my personal power. The first time KavinCoach told me to stop giving my power away, I was totally confused. I figured I didn't have any power to give away.  How could I give away something that I didn't know I had?  Who did I give it away too?  And how did I stop giving my power away?


How could I give away something that I didn't know I had?

      I was trained from a very young age to give up my power.  I was taught that my most basic needs, like getting enough to eat, could and would be denied at any possible time.  I was taught that my fears would be used to hurt me more.  Something as simple as having a light on at night when I felt afraid would be used as a punishment.  It worked but I felt powerless over and over again.  Careful teaching, convinced me to surrender all my power.  

Who did I give it away too?  

     Everyone and any one.  I get nervous if a car drives up closely behind me.  It is like that driver behind me is ordering to get out of the way.  I usually do.  Any one tells me to do something, I go to great efforts to try to accomplish a task, even when the task did not belong to me.  

How did I stop giving my power away?

     This is the best part.  KavinCoach would let me talk about the crud and failures of the week then he would explain how I could tackle each situation and take back my power.  He gave me the opportunity to practice first with him then for homework I would practice using my personal power in a healthy way.  The key was not to just take my power back into my own hands but to use it wisely with compassion for myself and others.  As I became healthier, I recognized other healthy ways to be assertive without stepping on other people.  I learned that with power came responsibility.  Both my counselors believe that with personal power comes personal responsibility.  

I still feel times that I am powerless, however; more and more frequently I am recognizing how to feel and use my power.