Listen to the Rhythm of the Drum

Rhythm

http://www.tylerwardis.com/worklife-balance/

Tyler Wardis is a new-to-me  blog that I found recently.  I enjoy getting his posts in my email.  Each one gets me thinking about how 'normal' everyone is effected type challenges.  One of the things that an abuser/psychopath/predator does to their victim is to convince the victim that their instincts/life rhythm/seasons are out of sync or wrong.  That the victims are the ones that need to change to be in sync with life.  However, Tyler writes that this is a machine age condition.  The electric light bulb extends our days.  Business demands pushes are limits to produce like a machine....only thing is that machines break down and are easily replaced....humans break down and not so easy to replace unless there is no emotional connection.  Business views humans as so many Xs on a spread sheet to be moved around without regards to who they are or what their strengths are.  Businesses have a need and expect the little X's to fulfill their roles.  Time - Seasons - Natural ability are all disregarded in this spiral of higher production/profits.  But this is not about businesses or abuser.  This is about each person recognizing that they personally have a rhythm, a body rhythm.  I neglected this until I became extremely ill.  I could only be up 20 minutes a day but no medical test showed that there was anything wrong with me.  No test showed that I wasn't sleeping at night.  No test showed that what I was eating threw my body out of balance.  No test showed that expending more energy to exercise would give me more energy to use.  To survive, I had to start listening to my own body and needs.  I needed to recognize when I had energy and when it would drain away.  No amount of counseling could change me until I took action to know who I was and what were my capabilities.  As a child I was held to adult standards.  When I complained and said something was wrong, I was told, "He who complains has too much."  I was punished for trying to meet my own needs.  I was punished for not meeting their needs.  Seasons/rhythms/needs were simply ignored or squashed.  No small wonder that when KavinCoach first asked me what I wanted I was bewildered.  He patiently took time to teach me to listen to my own inner voice that whispered what I needed.  Not the screaming voice that echos my abuser in my mind but the quiet one that says, "You know you really need to go to sleep now."  "You know those potato chips have no nutrition but a little is ok."  "You know that you really don't want to go to that activity."  "You know what you need but I so understand being afraid to admit it." 

I realize that part of the craze to "Find Yourself" is to get back in touch with that quiet voice that knows what I need.  Not only hear it but respond.  Tyler has several suggestions on how to get back into the rhythm.

Here are 4 things Chronobiology, and it’s different cycles, tells us about how to recover the natural rhythms of life.

1. Manage energy, not time.

I learned this as I struggled to have more than a half life.  I wanted more than 20 minutes a day to do things.  I realized dictating to my body when to do things was fairly useless.  My energy levels had an ebb and flow that I needed to allow function.  My time schedule is not like everyone else.  I learned that I really don't think all that well on complex problems until after 9 AM.

2. Daily Routines are more useful when designed to your body’s natural rhythms.

I bless my youngest son for asking me to not talk to him in the morning because he just wasn't social early in the morning.  I discovered I like quiet in the morning too. We would talk in the evening and enjoy the time so much more by recognizing and accepting our own social rhythm.  I tried following FLY Lady's routines but again it fell apart because I was trying to meet someone else's expectations of a day.  I am starting to work out my own daily routine that works for me.  I continue to adjust and change it as I recognize my own body rhythm.  In the afternoon, I really need to be up and doing something or I will fall asleep.  Yup, dozed off more than once at a keyboard for a few minute snooze.  However, if I get up and move I feel just as regenerated. 

3. Sabbath isn’t just a religious act.

I felt amused that Tyler had documentation that the body really does need a Sabbath day reset button.  I actually wear a dress all day (the only day I wear a dress) to remind myself that I need to rest from my daily routine. 

4. We can’t control the seasons.

Ain't that the truth.  I think for me I need to stop beating myself up for struggling with depression from Thanksgiving to Valentine's Day.  I believe that I just need to accept that there are so many triggers during this season that I need to cut myself some extra slack. A lot of extra slack.  Adjust my schedule rather than to demand on myself that I can 'just-get-over-it.'  The seasons come and go.  Remarkably Christmas is the same day every year.  The city here heats up to VERY HOT every summer.  Adjust for it.  The season won't change any time soon.  The seasons definitely come under the category of "Accept the things I cannot change." 

As Tyler points out I am not a machine.  As my counselor pointed out, I have needs.  As I am learning, I need to listen to my own body rhythm and meet my needs to be able to be myself.  I learned when I do this I am a much happier person. 


Poppy Posts taught me about drumming which I believe is an exercise in finding your own rhythm http://poppyposts-blog.net/
App for playing drums
http://www.virtualdrumming.com/drums/windows/drums-free-drumming.html