Sunday, August 2, 2015

Trigger crunched a day and a night

A trigger Saturday morning took until Sunday morning around 3 AM to work through.  Before it would take days.  I still baked brownies and banana bread and washed dishes but underneath it all was this brooding caldron of raging emotions.  Reminded me of our trip to Yellowstone with all the warning signs.

Designated trails were boardwalks.  Literally.  There were places where something broke through the ground that shows how thin the Earth crust is in this area.

I tried to show how thin the Earth crusts is in this area only 2 to 3 inches or 5 to 9 cm.

Breaking through the ground could lead to severe burns from steam vents. 

Triggers are like this.  Walking on thin crust and suddenly you break through suffering hurt, rage, emotional pain, flashbacks and other unpleasantness.  Used to be I needed a counselor to help me sort out where I fell through and what do I need to repair the damage and put up another 'tread carefully' sign.  Now it just took hours into the night working through what event that day caused the break, what past event is connected with the event, and what do I need to do to get back on solid ground.  I never thought of PTSD would be like living in Yellowstone park without the boardwalks. 

The boardwalks make traveling over dangerous ground much safer.  Occasionally someone leaves behind a bit of happiness.


jessie said...

When did you go to Yellowstone, Ruth? I saw a photo of two elk a couple of posts back and swore I saw the exact same two when we went in June.

Ruth said...

We were there in June. It was gorgeous and amazing.

jessie said...

We were there in June too. I thought your photos seemed awfully similar. How funny, maybe we passed each other. :)

Ruth said...

That is possible. It was so incredibly beautiful. I hope you enjoyed Yellowstone too.