A few of anger's less worthy traits, I am sure my readers can expand on this list:
Anger shuts down thinking. When anger takes control the first thing it does is cut off all logical thought and consumes all available energy in feeding itself.
Anger multiples itself by using past garbage to ramp up the rage. Unresolved issues on the same subject amplify rage all out of proportion from the original offense. I call this powder kegging. Kind of like taking a keg of gunpowder and throwing it on a fire.
Anger consumes as much energy as you give it. Leaves a person too tired to direct their energy in more constructive paths.
Anger smoke screens the original cause. In my last post, I stated that anger always comes second, but it likes to take center stage and confuse everything until only anger is left. Clearing the smoke and fire to get to the source is an important part of my counseling sessions. Anger looses all the attention when the actual source is addressed.
Anger without enthusiasm is depression on steroids. Unexpressed anger thickens and swallows up the person feeling it. A black fog of depression can usually find anger spewing out smoke to create the murky fog.
These are just a few. Commenters feel free to expand on this list. Reading over this list one may wonder why I think anger saved my soul...wouldn't anger be considered a destructive force? I think most people will agree with me that a raging forest fire is a terrible thing but most people enjoy gathering around a lovely campfire. Anger out of control is like a forest fire destroying everything in its path. Anger controlled is like a warm fire roasting marshmallows and warming those gathered around. KavinCoach worked hard at teaching me how to recognize and feel anger than take that feeling and pull it apart to find the smoldering source that started the anger in the first place. Addressing and clearing away past hurts, fears, and frustrations clears the murk and mire that keeps me from enjoying here and now.
5 comments:
"Anger without enthusiasm is depression on steroids"
Wow. Thank you for this. I've done this since I found my anger. I'm stopping. :)
I'm glad you found your anger Ruth. And interesting how it led to your other buried emotions. KC sounds like he was a really good therapist.
I experienced a lot of rage from my ex, directed at me...and now, I get unreasonably angry with my T as soon as any memories come up for me.
Anger is totally a tricky beast and I'd like to be able to work with it more. Toasty marshmallows are so much better than a bunch of shattered glass and broken relationships.
In therapy, when I realized how much anger I was repressing, I will admit it helped me focus on, and isolate, the cause.
I grew up believing the insanity that was my NF (red-faced, fists clenched, screaming filth at a terrified child) represented anger. With him as an example I had no idea it could be controlled and used as a source for personal growth.
I'm sadly familiar with the dark side of anger.
Hugs P/M
Anger is information we can learn from.
Suppressing anger without addressing the cause leads to more anger.
Distracting ourselves to get a bit of space can be useful short term (NOT long term).
Aw, where's the list of good things about anger? Anger inspires people to write, inspires people to draw, inspires people to express themselves. Anger is a motivator and driving force. I believe the patron saint of Anger has a place up there in the pantheon and has something to give, even if it's in a dark way. Either way, it will help you find you. And I think anger helps people survive, especially when they are down to the last drop. You can beat a person down but you can't take away their anger. And like you said in your last entry, anger is the first thing that wakes you up. Anger lets you know who you are because it is indivisible, it tests your boundaries. It lets you know you've been violated. It's the push back of skin.
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