http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/02/07/principles-of-success/
Very upbeat and takes the positive line.
Seven wonders of the world video
http://blog.inspirationbygod.net/753/seven-wonders-of-our-world/
The second part of my blog is something I wrestled with sharing. There are some things that I don't talk about or post often. upsi's blog kind of nudged me in the direction that on many levels I didn't want to go but the thoughts kept reoccurring. The links and rest of this post can be very triggering. I know it is for me. Sometimes it is more like a toothache that hurts and hurts and won't go away until you pay attention to it. This mornings quote from Pam at Innerkiddies decided me to go ahead. I do so with a great deal of concern about being misunderstood.
Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.I forgot my past. I buried my childhood in mist of darkness for a reason. upsi posted a link to a horrible tragedy http://upsi-upsi.blogspot.com/2012/02/if-i-cant-have-you-nobody-can.html
C.G. Jung (Please visit our websites at www.innerkiddies.com)
I read her blog the comments and the original news article. I am thankful they were all horrified. It was a horrific crime. Comprehending the incomprehensible is difficult to impossible. I feel like I must shed a little light on how monsters are made. They aren't born that way. One of my jobs I worked one-on-one with a 9 year old that will never be human. He was born just fine. At the time I cared for the student at school, his father was still spending time in jail for the amount of abuse he heaped upon his son. The boy couldn't say a complete sentence, he was violent, spit on me, called me a bitch, couldn't be left unattended. He was what his father made him. He was brain damaged and soul damaged. I only worked with him one year. I couldn't do it longer. In counseling, I pieced together some of my childhood. I mention from time to time the neighbor that molested me. His specialty was young boys. I was just a side issue. He created monsters. Some of them committed suicide. One that I know of became a multiple like me and killed off his younger alter. One murdered his two children and committed suicide. The act was and is monstrous. I knew him when he was just a lost kid that needed attention. It is not illegal to systematically emotionally destroy a child. It should be. It is not illegal to terrorize a child until as a teenager or young adult they commit suicide. It is not illegal to stalk a person and insight fear. The results of mental torture can have horrendous consequences. On my list of books to read is Victor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning. He shares his experiences in the concentration camps. He explains the reactions of different people. They were all put in the concentration camps, the reactions were what he became aware of how differently people chose to react. There were those that died of starvation because they shared their rations with someone else. There were those that just tried to do the best they could and still survive. Then there were those that turned on their fellow prisoners and were more vicious and cruel than their guards. I think sometimes in today's society that people are too quick to point out a terrible childhood to excuse today's behavior. I will be the first to say overcoming an ugly past is difficult. But in my opinion, there is a point in time when each victim makes a choice to allow their past to destroy them or move forward and change their future. That pivotal moment is when the abuser stops being the most important thing in life. The man committed a terrible crime. His sister stated she already forgiven him. Perhaps she knew more of what happened to him than she was willing to say. Unfortunately, too often people are more concerned about the rights of the parents than they are the safety of the child. Too often people will excuse brutal behavior because they had an unfortunate past. This tragedy was years in the making. Monsters are not born; they are made.
2 comments:
I would be amazed if anyone anywhere could manage to work with that poor nine year old for as long as a year.
Your childhood neighborhood and playmate relationships and experiences and environment included aspects that have been the undoing of many an adult who was treated these ways for the first time in adulthood.
My husband got to experience, in different neighborhoods he grew up in, some disturbing incidents: a little girl trying to stab his eyes out with scissors when they were both early grade school ages, on the large property of a mansion, where only a scared looking maid seemed to try to look out for them-he said the maid was actually lurking in the bushes and peering at them the few times he visited, until the scissors incident which was his last visit, and he heard later that the little girl's much older brother was later sent to jail for sexually molesting other neighborhood children.
In another place, when he was a little older but still in grade school, there was a low income family with lots of children that lived nearby, and the mother taught the children to shoplift, and whipped them savagely whenever they got caught.
In first grade, he and his classmates were treated to sadistic stories of extreme child abuse, with all the gory details, read to them by the teacher from a newspaper (or, we speculate she was actually making them up and pretending to read them from the paper); after most of the school year had passed, she was suddenly 'retired' by the school system.
He said that all the kids he played with in that neighborhood all said they hated adults.
And he got to have these !lovely! (hmm, how about bracketing with exclamation points in lieu of a sarcasm font) experiences while his !family! life included such !reassuring! incidents as his father raging at the family, and occasionally threatening to sexually abuse him, but not ever quite getting around to it.
He says he had the same attitude to adults as the rest of the kids; also, that they all felt they didn't want to grow up to be adults. --quartz
I am sorry that these were some of his experiences quartz. I do understand the desire to never be an adult. One life coach was surprised when I talked about humans as if I didn't belong.
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