Doodling through cyberspace landed me on Cyndi's blog. I thought it would be an interesting one to check out and discovered that she put into words a struggle I have of asking for help.
That was a good read, Ruth. Cyndi, had my reasons for not asking nailed!
But, since my husband died, I've been forced to ask for help sometimes...with yard work, with carrying heavy things, etc. What did I find out? People love to help! My daughter says it makes her feel good to help me and the big strong neighbours seem to feel the same way.
I used to go down every other week to help out my Nparents. They didn't ask because it was part of my obligation as a compliant daughter. In return they treated me like crap and took me out for lunch!
A year ago, I realized my NF resented needing my help with shopping and such so I changed tactics and told them if they ever needed help they just had to ask. Of course, they never have, even though my NM complains about how hard it is to get groceries and keep medical appointments. I think their great big narc egos get in the way. Their loss!
Cyndi pegged me too, mulderfan. Unfortunately my NM has no problem asking me to help her when I have the most on my plate. I am learning that her learned helplessness is not my emergency. I am still working on letting others help me.
4 comments:
That was a good read, Ruth. Cyndi, had my reasons for not asking nailed!
But, since my husband died, I've been forced to ask for help sometimes...with yard work, with carrying heavy things, etc. What did I find out? People love to help! My daughter says it makes her feel good to help me and the big strong neighbours seem to feel the same way.
I used to go down every other week to help out my Nparents. They didn't ask because it was part of my obligation as a compliant daughter. In return they treated me like crap and took me out for lunch!
A year ago, I realized my NF resented needing my help with shopping and such so I changed tactics and told them if they ever needed help they just had to ask. Of course, they never have, even though my NM complains about how hard it is to get groceries and keep medical appointments. I think their great big narc egos get in the way. Their loss!
Cyndi pegged me too, mulderfan. Unfortunately my NM has no problem asking me to help her when I have the most on my plate. I am learning that her learned helplessness is not my emergency. I am still working on letting others help me.
Hi Ruth,
Thanks so much for the link. I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one. :)
Thanks Cyndi, It was a great post.
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