That's Funny!

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

 Orson Welles

Sent to me in an  email:  Thanks!!!!

Witticisms
 

It 's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "smart"?

The original point and click interface   was a Smith & Wesson.

A fool and his money   can throw one heck of a party.

I didn't like this joke, since I am editing, I deleted it.

I love the power of delete.

Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park.

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES USE BIRTH CONTROL

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Don't Drink and Drive You might hit a bump and spill something.

If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you..

Reality is only an illusion.

Time's fun when you're having flies. ......Kermit the Frog

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Red meat is not bad for you   Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name..

<> One good thing about Alzheimer's is   you get to meet new people every day.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.

Alabama  state motto:   At least we're not Mississippi

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population

You know why a banana is like a politician?
When he first comes in he is green, then he turns yellow and then he's rotten..

I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors.