Emotional day...

I woke up crying from a nightmare event that happened years ago when my kids were tiny.  Rather than just pushing the memory and the emotion away, I did as NewCounselor suggested and allowed myself to 'sit' with the emotion.  I felt first grief, then guilt, then sorrow for the event.  I could not undo what had happened.  Through the day I allowed myself to experience one emotion after another.  While at church, I thought about the earlier event.  I tried to listen but my mind kept going back to the previous thought like picking at a scab.  Instead of fighting, I let it happen.  Later in the day, I was talking with some friends and sharing what I believe and felt about church and felt another set of emotions, gratitude mixed with love for how people can touch our lives.  Then later that evening, several of our adult children's families came over for a shared dinner and I felt another set of emotions of joy and wonder at how amazing our kids are.  I slowed my mind down and allowed myself to feel each emotion and sort out what combinations were hiding inside each emotion.  No wonder I find emotions confusing; rarely did just one feeling or emotion exist at a time.  It seemed like each event and memory generated 4 or 5 different feelings triggered by different emotions.  (One of the interesting things that New Counselor explained is that he divided emotions and feelings into two separate groups.)  Today I considered the wide spectrum of feelings I had in just one day.  From deep sorrow to peaceful joy all in a day, no wonder emotions are compared to a wild roller-coaster ride.