Discernment

 I read other blogs to learn more about this world we live in.  I tried so many self-help books that failed miserably.  It never occurred to me that the world I lived in didn't quite match their expectations of how to live.  I needed to connect with people that understand a twisted world ruled by a narcissistic.  A world with gaslighting, lies, manipulation, twisted thinking, enmeshment and a whole different vocabulary than the ones I found in self-help books.  Add to my world, emotional splitting, multiple personality, emotional and physical blackouts, a place that some 'experts' deny existing.  The edge of insanity and beyond just isn't quite reached by your average self-help book.  


Upsi is intelligent, curious, determined, authentic and believes in sharing what she learns.  Today's post is from her inspiration.  http://upsi-upsi.blogspot.com/2011/05/best-you-can.html
I read her post at lunch time and thought about it all day long.  I also read the original article that is linked to upsi's page.  Then I turned to the dictionary because I didn't want to think I am saying one thing but actually something else is meant.  I look up commonly used words, a lot.  Gaslighting left me very unsure of myself but now I am recognizing other ways to verify what I believe plus I am learning to believe in myself. 

 The article is centered around the question of "Can't or Won't?"  This is a huge question.  I have been on both sides now.  As a multiple, I ran into 'I can't' often.   Living a fragmented life leaves little room for decision when another personality takes over and you are suddenly in black out.  Choice is gone in a heart beat.  Now, I get to choose.  I don't always do my best.  Sometimes good enough is good enough.  I used to wear myself out trying to perform perfectly.  It was killing me emotionally and physically.  I need to make choices.  The way to make choices is to decide which choice is best for me at the time.  There is a need for discernment.  I need to make a judgment call.  

Free Dictionary
 dis·cern·ment  (d-sûrnmnt, -zûrn-)

n.

1. The act or process of exhibiting keen insight and good judgment.

2. Keenness of insight and judgment.

dis·cern  (d-sûrn, -zûrn)

v. dis·cerned, dis·cern·ing, dis·cerns

v.tr.

1. To perceive with the eyes or intellect; detect.

2. To recognize or comprehend mentally.

3. To perceive or recognize as being different or distinct; distinguish. See Synonyms at see¹.

v.intr.

To perceive differences.

 

 

Then there are those pious souls that say, "Thou shalt not judge."  By the way, this is not one of the 10 commandments.    The original source is:

1	Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2	For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. Mk. 4.24

King James version posted at http://www.bartleby.com/108/40/7.html 

 

In my opinion it says that how I judge others will come back to haunt me.  But it is real too.  How many times was I punished by the silent treatment.  Now they are surprised when I am displeased by their behavior I retreat into silence.  I do what I was taught. 

There is a lot more to write than just one post.  This really has me thinking.  Thanks upsi. :)