Mark Twain
I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.
I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.
Agatha Christie
I started collecting my thoughts on this post in June. One of the fears I was raised with was the fear of dieing. Somewhere a long the way I realized that I felt more fear of living. Dieing seemed like a welcome release from acute suffering. Fortunately, I always held on for 5 more minutes. I remember hitting bottom and praying for complete and utter annihilation. Simple suicide wasn't enough. I am so thankful God ignored my prayer that day and many other days that I didn't believe I could make it 5 more minutes. Truly amazing how long you can survive 5 minutes at a time. When I started counseling with KavinCoach, I had dissociated most of my more negative feelings. I wanted to learn better communication skills in my marriage. I had no clue what lay within my mind. The fears, nightmares, ugly past were just outside of my memories. Can't fix what you don't remember or feel. Early in my counseling KavinCoach commented that I was a great survivor. He suggested that there was more to life than surviving. He wanted to teach me to thrive. Being always obedient I replied that would be great. The following week I thought about this thriving thing and couldn't even start to wrap my mind around what he was talking about. I came back the following week and demanded, "What the hell is thriving?"
Took weeks of discussion to get even a slight clue of what he meant. I asked for an inch and he offered me a marathon that would lead me out of the misery maze and into the sunshine of thriving. He proposed to teach me how to live and I accepted the challenge. Thriving is an amazing experience. I highly recommend it. If any one reading this is contemplating suicide get help now. This world can be brutal but it can also be the most thrilling of experiences. I am thankful God ignored my prayers for ending this life. I am thankful KavinCoach offered an opportunity of a life time, learning to thrive.
I started collecting my thoughts on this post in June. One of the fears I was raised with was the fear of dieing. Somewhere a long the way I realized that I felt more fear of living. Dieing seemed like a welcome release from acute suffering. Fortunately, I always held on for 5 more minutes. I remember hitting bottom and praying for complete and utter annihilation. Simple suicide wasn't enough. I am so thankful God ignored my prayer that day and many other days that I didn't believe I could make it 5 more minutes. Truly amazing how long you can survive 5 minutes at a time. When I started counseling with KavinCoach, I had dissociated most of my more negative feelings. I wanted to learn better communication skills in my marriage. I had no clue what lay within my mind. The fears, nightmares, ugly past were just outside of my memories. Can't fix what you don't remember or feel. Early in my counseling KavinCoach commented that I was a great survivor. He suggested that there was more to life than surviving. He wanted to teach me to thrive. Being always obedient I replied that would be great. The following week I thought about this thriving thing and couldn't even start to wrap my mind around what he was talking about. I came back the following week and demanded, "What the hell is thriving?"
Took weeks of discussion to get even a slight clue of what he meant. I asked for an inch and he offered me a marathon that would lead me out of the misery maze and into the sunshine of thriving. He proposed to teach me how to live and I accepted the challenge. Thriving is an amazing experience. I highly recommend it. If any one reading this is contemplating suicide get help now. This world can be brutal but it can also be the most thrilling of experiences. I am thankful God ignored my prayers for ending this life. I am thankful KavinCoach offered an opportunity of a life time, learning to thrive.
5 comments:
I'm glad you chose to thrive. We were meant to be friends.
(((Hugs))) P/M
I agree P/M. Thanks for the hugs and your encouragement. You make a difference for me. :)
I'm so glad you chose life because you deserve it,and because I love your blog; it has helped me so much. Take care xx
Thanks Laurel. :)
Nyssa I am glad to hear you enjoying my blog. Thanks for your comment.
I loved these!
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