Perseverance

"In the confrontation between the stream
and the rock, the stream always wins
- not by strength but by perseverance."
- H. Jackson Brown 

Somewhere in my childhood I learned the value of perseverance.  I know when I entered high school I decided to make a change in my life.  Up through 8th grade I struggled with reading, writing, spelling.  My 7th grade teacher gave me a bad spellers dictionary because I spelled so badly I couldn't even look up a word I wanted to spell in Webster's dictionary.  (The bad spellers dictionary actually had psychology in the Ss.)  I joked that I wanted to have English as my second language.  Math was my first language.  Math was the only thing I was good at in school.  I entered high school and set a lofty goal of straight A's in every subject.  Then, I set to work on all the homework to make it possible.  I learned a quote from my mother, "To get a C do the work, to get a B do more work, to get an A study the teacher."  I spent hours on some of my subjects since I was poor at reading it took me longer to read assignments.  When I got stuck, I learned to talk to my teachers.  In algebra there was an entire chapter of story problems.  My worse nightmare for school work.  I had to read a story and make mathematical sense out of the swimming words.  My algebra teacher was also the chemistry teacher.  I remember day after day sitting in the back of the smelly chemistry lab making crude drawings of what the words were supposed to mean.  The teacher pushed.  I would get frustrated but I persevered.  I would not quit.  The test was tough.  I was ecstatic when I got 100%.  I knew to keep it a secret.  In the mixed up world of high school getting good grades was bad.  Still I worked each semester studying, asking questions and persevering through 4 years of hard study.  I graduated in the top 5% of my class.  My mother's only comment, "You are not smarter you just worked harder."  Part of my motivation was to please her with my good grades.  I was in shock when I realized it meant very little to her.  Those 4 years taught me 2 valuable lessons.  

1.  I could not please my mother.

2.  If I put my mind to doing something, I could do it through perseverance and hard work.  

The first lesson freed me to pursue my own dreams, the second made it possible to achieve them.  I just didn't realize then what type of road blocks I was facing.  Eight years ago, I found out I had PTSD at a severe level.  Translated into everyday language, for over 40 years, I functioned using multiple personalities to survive.  Perseverance was key to the integration process.  I did not give up on myself.  I would not quit.  Drop by drop water can dissolve rock.