Change vs Consistency

The only completely consistent people are the dead. Aldous Huxley

I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.  Aldous Huxley


Experience is not what happens to a man; 
it is what a man does with what happens to him. Aldous Huxley

I am pondering on the changes that have happened to me over the past several years.  I feel like I have turned myself inside-out and upside down.  Yet, I feel more like me than I can ever remember.  I found the first quote in my Quotes Widget then followed the link to find the other quotes by Aldous Huxley, author of Brave New World.   A book I have never read.  His first quote about people that are completely consistent caught my attention immediately.  It goes along with my ideas about loving to change.  Changing means I am alive.  I like feeling alive.  There were times in my life where I have felt dead inside.  There was a time in my life that I didn't want to just die, I wanted complete inhalation body and a soul.  I survived.  The feelings passed.  The darkness receded.  The third quote that experience is what I do with what happens to me I think is key to where I am headed right now.  I have these experiences.  I want to make something good out of my life.  I considered walking away and never talking about integration ever again.  I decided that my story is worth sharing.  I did integrate five personalities of varying temperaments, sex and ages into one thriving person.  I am not problem free.  I am learning that as an integrated person my options for survival tools has increased to more choices than switching to another personality.  I am learning from New Counselor that I can access the strengths of all my personalities.  I also learned the hard way I still have the weaknesses of all the personalities.  Now, I am learning to choose how to use different ways of coping that each passing day is adding to my over all feeling of strength.  I feel like this first month of summer break from school that I accomplished less than I had planned to do.  However, I feel like I accomplished more in finding a place of peace and feeling like I am ready to move ahead.  Thank you to readers that have followed along and encouraged me.  I hope to be doing this for quite sometime.  This journey is amazing.  I am learning more and more that this world may have dark sides that defy any light to appear.  Yet, the smallest candle can push back the darkness. God has blessed me in so many ways.  I hope that by sharing this adventure I can share some of those blessings.  Thriving is amazing.