New Ways

One of the things I learned from my adventure into counseling that how I viewed the world was and sometimes still is, distorted.  I took in information, twisted it around to my way of thinking, then felt confused by how harsh the world could be.  One of the amazing things that I experience with all the different counselors I have worked with, both personal and job related, is they each bring a different perspective.  Another interesting thing is experiencing the feeling of being allowed to have my perspective however twisted.  KavinCoach spent the most time with me teaching me new ways to view my past.  I always considered myself crazy.  KavinCoach suggested that I was just a little girl raised in a crazy world so I adapted.  NewCounselor is excellent at continuing reteaching me ways to view my world.  I am noticing words, situations, and experiences that used to send my into a spiral of depression now either annoy me or amuse me but either way I am not wiped out.  I am also setting limits on myself and my patience.  Today I had a wonderful time at the aquarium with family and grand-kids and very crowded.  I had to bump into or brush past people to see the exhibits.  I was emotionally exhausted when I came home.  Instead of trying to stay engaged and continue interacting I took a few minutes to play mindless computer games while my subconscious went through decompression.  Before counseling, I would not have taken a break like this to decompress after something stressful.  I let myself accept my own need to recoup after being in a crowded environment.  I very carefully reduced the amount of time holding grand-kids while I stayed relaxed.  I put down charming little grand child when he grabbed for my hair for the umpteenth time.  I wasn't feeling patient, loving, or able to cope.  I put toddler down out of reach of my hair, sat back and relaxed.  Toddler played happily with my knees instead of pulling my hair and I felt happier meeting my need of a bit of personal space.  Taking care of my own needs is a new way of behaving taught to me by all of my counselors.