For unperfect days

Maura Weidl-Giles

“The fact that you’re struggling doesn't make you a burden. It doesn't make you unlovable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn't make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren't always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren't all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness.”

My Facebook friend shared this.  I thought about the years of struggling through counseling and trying to put my life together.  I couldn't say back together because I don't remember a time when I wasn't a mess.  Pop culture today is pushing everyone to have only positive friends.  I read one of my favorite people to read spout off how to be liked by people.  Of course she tacked on be yourself after telling me not to be too needy, off putting, difficult....yada, yada, yada.   I was disappointed.  You see I am the difficult person that hurt a lot for a long time.  I went months and years barely able to get out of bed.  I was like a black hole of need caving in on myself.  It was kind of a relief to read Maura's words of encouragement.  The last line needs repeating. 

You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness.

The first person that needs to be kind to me is me.  I need to show myself kindness and compassion when I make a mistake.  If one of my children made the same mistake would I berate them and call them names like I do to myself?  Am I treating myself like how my abuser treated me, setting impossible tasks then beating myself up for not achieving them?  Yea Joel with his Impossible Blog caught my attention.  Here's the difference, CHOOSING to do something impossible then encouraging myself to reach for the impossible is vastly different than setting myself up to fail then berating myself for failing.  Three deep breathes and repeat to myself, "I am a kind, caring person that enjoys helping others."  That's it, no more, no excuses, no rationalizations, no resetting goals, no beating myself up....just "I am a kind, caring person that enjoys helping others."

Hope your Saturday is awesome.