The Dark side of Nice

 Always amazes me when my sister's post so parallels what I am thinking about without discussing anything in advance. http://theprojectbyjudy.wordpress.com/2013/09/05/yes-sharing-another-post/ Yesterday, I wrote about more to success than just how far I have come and today I am sharing a post from my sister on there is more to life than being 'nice.'  The blog that set me to thinking is one I started following only recently. 

http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/09/04/jesus-christ-is-not-mr-rogers-2/

The book Untamed How the Wild Side of Jesus Frees Us to Live and Love with Abandon is another version of Christ being radical enough to change the World.  

Note to reader:  This post is a vent on 'Nice'....if you believe I am not nice for venting about nice, I highly recommend stop reading now.  I won't be offended....
 
My thoughts were turned to the word NICE...the word that makes a date fall flat...I had a nice time (Interpreted as I am never going out with you again.)...the quote that comes to mind, "Nice guys finish last."  Matt Walsh points out that serial killers are sometimes described as 'nice'.   The pedophile down the street from me was called, 'a nice man.' However, the dark side I am referring to is the 'nice' that kept me a victim.  If I objected about abusive behavior, I was told to be 'nice' and be quiet.  'Nice' people don't air their dirty laundry in public.  Be 'nice' and do what your mother told you (doesn't matter that you are getting hurt) just be 'nice.'  Of course when I started setting boundaries, "You are not being nice, what is wrong with you?"  'Nice' is used like a whip to get me to lay back down and be the doormat that was expected of me.  If I didn't then I wasn't being 'nice.'  I wondered if they ever considered that what they were asking of me wasn't 'nice'?  Nice is the word used by teenagers trying to manipulate their parents into bending or breaking rules.  Mom is mean if she says no but nice if she says yes, even if what is being said yes to is not good for the teenager.  I started noticing that someone wants me to be 'nice' it is too often a prelude of they want to use or abuse me.  A people pleaser is considered nice but it is a terrible way to live.  Setting boundaries makes me not nice then I should have stopped being nice years ago.  I was actually saved from messing up being a mom from a story shared with me when I was a teenager.  I recognized the value of being a mother and sometimes that meant my kids would think I was mean.  I like kindness and helping and loving one another but if someone steps on my boundaries now, I AM NOT NICE.    

"The Meanest Mother" 

     http://mrmom.amaonline.com/poems/meanestmother.htm