Thursday, November 6, 2014
Today I figured out the source of my insomnia this week. A meeting was cancelled and now I can sleep. Years ago KavinCoach told me that I was just like everyone else, brought in my puzzle pieces and we tried to make sense of the picture the pieces show. He followed the example with the comment that I was a 10,000 piece puzzle. I knew my insomnia became much worse but I didn't realize why until after the meeting was cancelled and I started falling asleep at my computer, well before the time I usually go to bed. So much anxiety for nothing....meeting postponed. Once I realized what was rocking my boat, I started poking around in my emotions as to why. Was I still upset over what the lady running the meeting said about my time log? Nope, the teachers helped me resolve that. Was I worried she would change my schedule again?....not really. I learned to cope with changing what I do in the classrooms. I finally decided that what bothers me is the negative perspective she has about teachers but I am not in a place where I can tell the woman to be nice. Interesting that I am having a problem with one of the classes. The students don't see me as a teacher, just an annoying mean intruder. I realized the students reaction to me is very similar to my reaction to the person I worked with at the meeting. I am working at finding solutions to the students....maybe I can use those same steps to help me work with the people running the mandatory meetings. For now....good night.