Sunday, November 16, 2014

The Forgiving Life



Celebrating Thanksgiving I consider all of my blessings.  One of those blessings is forgiveness.  Forgiveness, oft debated, sometimes misunderstood.  Sometimes demanded but can only be given.  The awesomeness of forgiveness is it cuts the ties to past hurts.  When I forgive, I release the tie that binds me to my past.  I struggle most with forgiving myself.  Counselors assured me I did the best I could have done under the circumstances.  I know how often I fall short of doing my best now.  Why would then be any different?  I want to be free of my past, I believe to do that not only do I need to forgive those that harmed me but I need to forgive myself for my wrong doings.  I made mistakes, lots of them.  I still make poor choices....many poor choices.  In focusing so solidly on my past mistakes I tend to overlook the good things I do.  But life isn't about checks and balances of do so many good things to balance out the bad.  One single event can have a profound impact on myself or others.  I like in the video how he talks about forgiveness being an on going process.  I also appreciate his findings that forgiveness is quite separate from reconciliation.  Dr. Enright points out that it takes two or more to reconcile.  I keep listening to his words about forgiveness coming from a place of strength.  In considering, my past year I recognize that I made strides in forgiving others but I am stuck on forgiving myself.  I then ponder, if I won't truly forgive myself, then am I still holding grudges in situations that I thought I have forgiven.  KavinCoach pointed out, it is difficult to love others more than I love myself.  I suspect it is equally difficult to forgive others more than I forgive myself.  I worked so long at forgiving others, perhaps for me to finish the process, I need to forgive myself.  Not because I did the best I could at the time, but because I am changing who I am and I would not do those things again.  

1 comment:

mulderfan said...

Yes, like the airplane oxygen mask analogy, forgive yourself first.