Crying vs Laughing

This article was shared on another blog but I forgot to mark who posted it first.*  I apologize for that oversight because I appreciate having it brought to my attention. 


http://emergingfrombroken.com/difficulty-crying-or-feeling-ashamed-or-afraid-of-crying/



This article nudged me to think about my crying or lack thereof.  I started out in counseling hardly able to cry at all.  Counseling turned the tear ducts back on but I still rarely cry, especially not around anyone else.  MyCounselor is used to me moving the tissues as far away from me as possible.  I will stop and wait rather than cry if I am expressing a deep hurt.  I decided to do a bit of exploration to see where this takes me.  I came across a Web MD article that discusses crying and why people cry:

http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/why-we-cry-the-truth-about-tearing-up

One section describes the fact that some people that are traumatized cry more frequently, that's not always true.  I was ridiculed, punished, and watched others manipulate people through tears.  I was often the one being manipulated.  I have very negative feelings about tears.  I wasn't much better with my children when they were small but I learned.  I now can cry with them.

I learned at an early age that another way of releasing pent-up emotions is to laugh.  When I was questioned why I was laughing when I was talking about something very serious I quipped, "I can laugh or I can cry; I prefer laughing."  More than once I had to leave the room when one of my kids did something I knew I was going to punish them for but struck me as very funny.  I would go laugh then come back and explain why what they did was not ok.  I still struggle with these dueling responses to stress or sadness or anxiety or .....any number of different emotions.  I learned that I cry when I am happy and laugh off my fears.  I cry more easily alone but laugh more easily in a crowd. I collect jokes and practice a sad story until I can relate what I need to say without tears.  I love to laugh, but sometimes I want or need to cry.  I marvel the spontaneity of a child swing from laughing to crying and back to laughing in moments from each other because the truly live in the moment and no one has taught them yet that expressing what they feel through laugh or tears is not ok.

*PS Judy mentions this same article shared by Diary of an Escape Goat.  http://diaryofascapegoat.blogspot.com/2013/05/article-on-difficulty-crying-or-feeling.html
Judy's perspective
http://theprojectbyjudy.wordpress.com/2013/05/14/a-little-while-ago/