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Ruthless Compassion Institute

The two essential ingredients for empowerment are consciousness & love: in order to have any power or agency, we must be grounded in reality & responding directly to what's in front of us, as opposed to living in hopeful fantasy, engaging in magical thinking, projecting the past onto present times or shutting down in avoidance or denial. And we must have an open heart, so that we don't fall into cruel self-criticism when we see the truth about ourselves, or become overwhelmed with rage or despair when we see the truth about other people & the world. When we lead with love & consciousness, we perceive the truth around us & within us & are thus prepared to make appropriate choices & take the right action on our behalf & on behalf of our loved ones & the planet. This is no different from the practice of ruthless compassion, which combines a fierce determination to get to the truth of everything with a kind, loving attitude toward everyone. With ruthless compassion we have the opportunity to wake up & know how we feel, what we want & what needs to be done; we can forgive ourselves for past mistakes while being determined not to repeat them & we can be loving but not lenient toward ourselves & others. With ruthless compassion we don't let anyone off the hook for their bad choices but we don't engage, either, in time-wasting interpersonal drama. We set clear limits, express our needs & feelings clearly, & see the response of other people as important information about who they are & how they really feel about us. Ruthless compassion enables us to be conscious without creating unnecessary suffering, & loving without unnecessary tolerance of the unacceptable. It is the path toward empowerment, & it can be practiced by everyone.

One of the things that is going around is a push for stopping the use of Facebook.  I 'Liked' Ruthless Compassion Institute along with several other pages that send me bits of encouragement, suggestions for improving my life, and photography.  I try to spend about a half hour every morning reading encouraging words and viewing uplifting beautiful pictures.  One of my goals is to continue to improve my life after counseling.  I am in the process of weaning myself off by reducing my visits to once a month.  I am realizing that I now have an entire arsenal of coping strategies.  The power of humans is they can choose to move beyond the animalstic Fight - Flight - Freeze reaction kicked in by the amygdala.Years ago I started using computers to do research.  I quickly learned that there is plenty of crap out their floating around in cyberspace.  My job is put in my own personal filters.  Face book lends itself to that approach.  I can hide things I don't want.  Like things I do want.  I can change my mind.  I Liked one page that I thought was uplifting only to learn that they had a hidden agenda that I strongly disagree.  So I unfriended the page.  Now before facebook I did not know that unfriending was possible.  I am realizing that setting boundaries and protecting myself is all about filtering, unfriending, or liking the things that feel good to me.  What I enjoy on my links is quite different than my sister, daughters or friends.  One friend complained about what I shared, all I thought was unfriend me.  One of my goals to greater empowerment for myself.  Ruthless Compassion shares suggestions to that goal.  The posts that I really like I share here so that I can go back to it over and over.  I am learning that Facebook like everything else is what I make of it.  I also remind myself that on Facebook, I am the commodity that they are selling to their advertisers.  That little reminder shines light on some of the changes so I recognize that the frustration is not about me, it is them trying to make me more marketable.  I am ok with the exchange, uplifting posts for side advertisement that I totally ignore.