Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Best interest at heart

20. I’m grateful for my body, because … 
It gives me warning when it is going to quit.  I was able to pull off the freeway and walk around a store to get my body moving again.  My body quits on me, however it does give me warning.  I bought a few things I needed and drove the rest of the way home.  I didn't get to exercise or anything else but I did get home safely.  Good body. 

21. I’m allowed to surround myself with people who truly support me and have my best interest at heart (and to avoid and let go of the people that don’t).
 One of the more outstanding counseling sessions I had was the day I was grousing about my mother and babbled the tired old, "That's just the way my mother is, I got to love her?"  KavinCoach responded, "No you don't."  HEAD CRASH......   I almost got whiplash from the tilt and turn of my world.  For years, I believed that I had to not only tolerate but love my abuser and I was inadequate if I didn't.  Please, don't preach to me about love the sinner but not the sin.....that doesn't wash.  That was the year that I gave myself the gift of not seeing or speaking to my mother on Thanksgiving Day.  I started walking away from the drama.  I stopped trying to be a mythical "perfect daughter."  So not what I was expecting from my counselor.  Instead of teaching me to tolerate everyone, as I expected.  My counselor recommended that I walk away and never look back.  Except my sister was there and I refused to let my mother force me to stay away from my sister any more.  I learned that I can avoid a person while being in the same room with them.

Surround myself with people that truly support me.  I am learning about this.  Team building as mentioned numerous times by David Rutherford at TeamFroglogic. I first stated doing this with UPSI and those following her blog.  Unfortunately, things feel apart, feelings were hurt, trust were broken and I felt afraid.  But David Rutherford pointed out I am doing this with my family of choice, my sister, several friends, and others that I am building a team that has each other's back.  We each bring our special talents to the group and we help each other.  People are designed to work together.  I am becoming a believer. 

22.This aging body of mine — with its sagging skin, softness and so-called imperfections — is still here. Gloriously.  

I appreciate this one today.  I am feeling a bit worse for wear.  Sleeping badly.  Insides in rebellion.  I love the bumper sticker that says, "Growing old is not for sissies." My body reminded me today of how badly I used to feel every day, all day.  Depression, PTSD, chronic fatigue and many other hidden illnesses can really kick your butt....add aging and sometimes I just feel lousy.  But it is my body.  It gets me to work in the morning.  Stumbles slowly home at night.  I even get to do some stuff in between.

This past week of writing about my appreciation for my body is timely teaching for me.

Keeping one step ahead. 

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