I need to think about this some more.......
I deserve to be treated with respect.
If I don't respect myself, how can I expect others to respect me?
18. I can learn to trust myself.
This is a tough one.
Wow, I saved these for last since I needed time to really think them through. My thoughts swirl around these concepts dodging and weaving and just a little bit afraid. Do I actually feel that I deserve to be treated with respect? Today I can give a resounding, yes. An event at work gave me an opportunity to test myself out. I felt disrespected by a person and I carefully wrote an email to share how I felt. The double whammy was I needed to trust my perception of the situation. I questioned myself. Was I over reacting to the situation? What evidence did I have? Was it a matter of personal attack or just not seeing me as a person? I decided the person didn't respect me enough to see me as a person that deserved consideration. I wrote the email carefully and had someone else read it to make sure I was specific, used I statements, and clearly let the other person know that how they treated me was not OK. I deserve to be treated with respect.
Years of being told I was wrong. I was exaggerating. I don't feel what I feel left me really unsure of myself, my perception, or my point of view. Yes, I believe these are 3 different things. Myself is my own self concept. My perception is how I see the world. My point of view is what I share with others about what I perceive the world to be. I used to be very unsure of myself. Someone could insult me and I would feel I was deserving of the put down. I didn't trust myself to believe I deserve respect from my peers, my bosses, and others that I encounter every day. I did not realize until I wrote this how interwoven trust myself and feeling that I deserve respect. One relies on the other. I think this is the interesting thing about writing a blog. By sharing my ideas and thoughts on an article I get so much more out of it than when I simply read through a great article. The value for me is to respond with an open heart and mind to see where I can be led. I trust myself and I deserve to be treated with respect. After an unpleasant morning, this feels really good.
|Patterns of life|