Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Saved for last

 I need to think about this some more.......

  I deserve to be treated with respect.

If I don't respect myself, how can I expect others to respect me?

18. I can learn to trust myself.

This is a tough one.

Wow, I saved these for last since I needed time to really think them through.  My thoughts swirl around these concepts dodging and weaving and just a little bit afraid.  Do I actually feel that I deserve to be treated with respect?  Today I can give a resounding, yes.   An event at work gave me an opportunity to test myself out.  I felt disrespected by a person and I carefully wrote an email to share how I felt.  The double whammy was I needed to trust my perception of the situation.  I questioned myself.  Was I over reacting to the situation?  What evidence did I have?  Was it a matter of personal attack or just not seeing me as a person? I decided the person didn't respect me enough to see me as a person that deserved consideration.  I wrote the email carefully and had someone else read it to make sure I was specific, used I statements, and clearly let the other person know that how they treated me was not OK.  I deserve to be treated with respect. 

Years of being told I was wrong.  I was exaggerating.  I don't feel what I feel left me really unsure of myself, my perception, or my point of view.  Yes, I believe these are 3 different things.  Myself is my own self concept.  My perception is how I see the world.  My point of view is what I share with others about what I perceive the world to be.  I used to be very unsure of myself.  Someone could insult me and I would feel I was deserving of the put down.  I didn't trust myself to believe I deserve respect from my peers, my bosses, and others that I encounter every day.  I did not realize until I wrote this how interwoven trust myself and feeling that I deserve respect.  One relies on the other.  I think this is the interesting thing about writing a blog.  By sharing my ideas and thoughts on an article I get so much more out of it than when I simply read through a great article.  The value for me is to respond with an open heart and mind to see where I can be led.  I trust myself and I deserve to be treated with respect.  After an unpleasant morning, this feels really good.

Patterns of life


mulderfan said...

I've doubted myself for far too long b/c I've listened to the opinions of others, including my dysfunctional family members.

My new daily mantra: What other people think of me is none of my business.

Ruth said...

Love your mantra.

TR said...

Love that: "What other people think of me is none of my business." Going to remind myself of that. Thanks.