Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Change a little Dream a Lot

15. Just for today, I will speak kindly to my body.

 When working on change I try to do too much at one go.  I tore out my entire foundation with the help of my counselor.  He helped me rebuild a new one.  Now I am working on finishing touches.  When we were first married, my husband and I bought a house that wasn't built yet.  We took pictures of the foundation going in, walls going up roof added and all the various stages.  When we first started, we saw huge rapid changes, but once the walls and roof were up the changes were still important just not as noticeable.  Flylady at Flylady.net talks about taking baby steps.  Small incremental changes that add up over time.  I can choose to speak kindly to my body for one day.  First day, I might make it until lunch time when I chastise myself for something at lunch.  Half a day is a start.  'Just for today,' keeps me from beating myself up about not making the change permanent right away.  My sister reminded me that sometimes it takes years to make a habit.  One day is a start in a new direction.

16. I deserve to feel good.  

My counselor spent a lot of time trying to convince me that I deserved good things like feeling good.  He had me practice feeling good or at least doing the things that lead up to feeling good. During my darkest hours, I didn't feel I deserved happiness.  Post a sign, recite a mantra, repeat to yourself, "I deserve to feel good."  Might not believe it at first but just maybe you can end up where this little girl did:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg Go Jessica. One of the early steps of climbing out of depression is believing there is something better.  Sometimes that is hard to believe. 

17. My dreams are …

The first time KavinCoach asked me what my dreams were, I told him about my nightmares.  He corrected me and asked me what did my dream-magical future look like?  I stared at him blankly.  My dreams were lost by the way side years and years ago.  I am working at rebuilding my dreams.  I wanted to help people all those years ago before my dreams disintegrated..... I can still do that.  I am building new dreams.  When was the last time you sat down and thought about what your dreams are?

19. I worked hard today. I’m acknowledging my efforts (which is an important thing to do).

At the end of the day, do I take the time to acknowledge what I did today?  I like it when I get to the end of the day and feel exhausted because I got so much done.  Doing nothing all day and feeling exhausted just sucks.  As I build in strength, I start to take for granted the things that I do right, well, finish, like today I made awesome buttermilk biscuits.  I tend to hyper-focus on what I didn't do instead of acknowledging what I did do.  As a mom I noticed that no one pays attention to what I do until I don't do it.  I think I will add review my day and bask in the warmth of accomplishment.  I know what it is like to do one thing in a day.  A good day....I got up.  I do so much more than that now.  I am truly blessed.  I also worked hard to get where I am today. 

Step by step

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