Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Kindness beginning with me

4. I have permission to say no to events, ideas and activities that don’t nourish me. 
Also 'No' is a complete sentence.  Sitting at home watching a favorite show does not need to be explained.  KavinCoach also taught me that if I say yes to something there is automatically something else that I am saying no to.  I am learning to look for the hidden nos the ones that happen automatically because I said yes to something else.  I also don't need to have my whole day so packed that I am in full race the whole day.  Raising 6 kids kept our house hopping.  Only have 3 things to do after work seems down right slow.  A slower pace is OK.  See yesterdays post....I appreciate the comment that it is OK not to be perfect. 

5. I haven’t taken the best care of myself throughout the years, but self-care and self-compassion are skills I’m open to learning.  I was curious by the wording of this one.  Scanning through reading it quickly I didn't notice the nuance of acknowledging I didn't take care of myself in the past.  Expressing a willingness to learn new skills of self-care and self-compassion.  I was raised by adults that made my life about meeting their needs instead of the other way around.  I was taught from the earliest of age that what I need was not important or contemptible that I would be so selfish as to need anything.  Self-care is not selfish.  I am open to learning how to care for myself. 

6. I deserve to be treated with respect.
Wow this is a biggy.  My first counselor spent a lot and I mean a LOT of session time trying to teach me this one concept.  I am not treated with respect by my parents.  They expect me to take whatever they dish out and thank them for it.  Ummmm No.  I deserve to be treated with respect.  I have the responsibility to walk away from those that don't .  I am an adult now.  If I don't respect myself, how can I expect others to respect me?    Ooooooo....I think this one may need to be wrestled with some more. 

7. Building a healthy relationship with myself is important because …
How would I finish this sentence?  Hmmmm  I am always with myself.  I do know my darkest and ugliest secrets but a healthy relationship involves recognizing my virtues and strengths.  Healthy relationship I believe is quite a bit different than what I am doing right now.  These are far more thought provoking than I first thought when I read through I having a healthy relationship with myself if I stay up late playing a mindless video game because I am trying to silence my anxiety with depression.  Am I having a healthy relationship with myself when I self medicate with chocolate?  The whole first 7 years of counseling was focused on building a healthy relationship with myself.  My first counselor helped me tear out my entire foundation of how I used to function.  I don't think I have a healthy relationship with myself yet....that is a big word promises change, hopefully a change for the better. 

8.What I appreciate about my body is …
Ugh.....I think I will tackle this one tomorrow.

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