Saturday, March 21, 2015


Shame is a subject that I return to again and again.  My first counselor gave me a book on it, twice.  Each time I became frustrated because I just couldn't grasp the concept.  I felt it....oh yea.  I didn't know what to do with it.  It seemed weird to accept it since it was shame transferred from my abusers to me.  The blame the victim is laced with shaming the victim. I didn't think I should own this shame that isn't mine.  However, there are things I feel ashamed of.  Things I did when the guilt is not resolved I morphed it into shame of who I was.  In an effort to grasp how to relieve the distress of feeling shame I am reading what other people have to say about shame.  Brené Brown has several TED talks on vulnerability and shame.  The way she talks makes sense to me more than the book I attempted to read.  I recommend watching them in the order listed. 

1. Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability(20 minutes)

 Watch this one first since her second speech refers to this one.

2. Brené Brown: Listening to shame (20 Minutes)

After watching the videos check out In Bad Company post where she uses Brené Brown home work assignment to track her shame. 

She added more links to read on the same subject.  I am reassured that I am not alone in this challenge.  I am relieved that each feels there are answers to resolving healthily feelings of shame.  I learn that first I need to grasp what it is before I can do something about it in a constructive, instead of a knee jerk, way.

Shame acts like slime on my soul.....get it off.....get it off.....but how?


jessie said...

My therapist is a big Brene fan. It was the fact that she "got" Brene, that has kept me in her practice at times :).
Shame is so hard. I struggle with it everyday. Sometimes separating "shame" from so many other emotions ("guilt" "sadness" even "co-dependency") is hard for me. Thanks for the reminder to re-look at this information.

Ruth said...

Your welcome. I can do a search of my own blog and pull it up again for later review.

TR said...

I agree, her talks are what led me to her books actually. Her books are written for mass and not for childhood trauma. I had to come back to the exercises often to apply my own experiences. It does feel like slime. Thanks for the link.

Ruth said...

Your welcome TR