My journey out of the darkness of depression.
How I changed from not just surviving but thriving.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Emotional healing takes energy. Refusing to heal takes more energy. Giving up puts a massive hole in the human energy storage bank. Try doing situps....lots of them. Then feel your body when you say, "I give up." What little energy is left vanishes. I forget easily how hard the tough work can be. I imagine myself being productive then feel terribly frustrated when I can barely get off the couch because my body is so exhausted. I want to sleep but the mind and the body are not on the same page or blanket. Shutting down intrusive thoughts takes more energy. Keeping secrets takes a constant drain of energy that leaves me wondering what it feels like to feel energized. The ebb and flow of energy makes more and more sense as I study and learn about how the body responds to stress and relaxing. My body happens to go way past the slow down after a peak in stress. My body goes clear into half conscious. Pacing myself is vital. I am so tempted to work like crazy when my energy goes up causing my energy levels to plummet again. Mind, body, emotions, spirit each claim their bit of energy. I'm tired and can't sleep. I plan all sorts of things to accomplish and can barely get up the stairs. It would be great if my emotions would calm down and let my body use some of that energy to accomplish what my busy little mind thinks up. Heavy sigh...I've been aware of this problem since I was in high school and for all my work and study, I still can't strike that precarious balance.