Years have past. My 10, 20, and 30 year class reunion. The older I got the more apparent to me that the shattering was inside of me. I tried to figure out what to do with my inside mess and no answers came. I struggled and stumbled. Finally in desperation I found a marriage counselor to help me communicate with my husband. Surely just a few lessons and I would be good to go. How little I understood. Instead I was taught to see all the shattered glass around me. What was I to do with this mess.
I studied. Talked to my counselor. Remembered. Hurt. Crept out of darkness. Spent hours reading. Tried to function. Hard to do when you are in bits and pieces. Prayed.
One scripture kept coming to mind that Heavenly Father would make something good out of anything. It is what He does. Good stuff. I did not feel good at all. Slowly images and thoughts came to me. What can be made from broken glass? Can something beautiful be made of my messy life?
If man can make beautiful stained glass windows out of broken glass, what possibilities exist for me? I started posting my ideas and my friend Elle and her family sent links to some of their favorite pictures.
Stained Glass Dragonfly
http://www.
Stained Glass Butterflies (1)
http://fineartamerica.com/
Stained Glass Butterflies (2)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/
Stained Glass Celtic Love Knot
http://www.
Stained Glass Chakras
http://plentyofpatterns.com/
http://www.
Stained Glass Butterflies (1)
http://fineartamerica.com/
Stained Glass Butterflies (2)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/
Stained Glass Celtic Love Knot
http://www.
Stained Glass Chakras
http://plentyofpatterns.com/
I will be the first to say that all of these take work but not impossible. I can not change my past but I can take the shattered pieces and with Christ's guidance fulfill Heavenly Father's promise that something beautiful can come from my shattered life.
8 comments:
Broken glass all around holds a terrible memory for me, something I have never forgotten. The picture brought it into sharp focus and made me weep, even though it happened over fifty years ago when I was 5 or 6, the emotional distress is just as strong if not more so.
This is what happened.
I was standing in the kitchen when my 7 year old brother, who was standing in his bare feet, asked mum for a pair of socks.
Mum was stood at the sink washing milk bottles and without speaking started smashing them one by one until the floor was covered in broken glass. She started to howl and cry while we stood in shocked silence.
Pulling on her coat she left us without a word and was gone for over 12 hours leaving my brother in his bare feet surrounded by broken glass. He could not move and I was too traumatised to do anything other than just sit in the other room, until my brother asked me to get him a bottle of aspirin; which I did thinking he had a headache. He said” (molly) I’m going to kill myself” and I just said “oh!” I felt powerless; I had no idea what to do. Though he did take them all, luckily, they made him vomit. In those long hours we didn’t move or have anything to eat or drink.
Finally my father came home from work and asked “where is your mother.” I just said “she went out.” When he saw the broken glass he shouted “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR MOTHER.” This planted a seed in our tender minds that her insane behavior was our fault. Which left us with the legacy of almost becoming her carer and fearing any normal childhood behavior would tip her over the edge.
She did come back several hours later and didn’t even look at us and if my memory serves me right she didn’t speak for about a week.
Although I didn’t like my parents I always felt I loved them. Now I feel without doubt it was that paradoxical psychological phenomenon (The Stockholm syndrome).
Just wanted to share this with you to let you know that I thoroughly I understand just how much traumatic events can injure the human psyche.
Molly
Molly thank you for sharing this. May I say first, it was not your fault. Not then and not ever. The Stockholm Syndrome is a big part of surviving growing up in insanity. My counselor talked to me a lot about that. I apologize for not posting that this post may be triggering for some readers.
The insanity of living with people who should never have had children.
I love the double meaning of the butterflies: The beautiful glass, and the breaking free of the cocoon.
Thanks Laurel. I like your ideas about Butterflies.
Ruth, great post. So eloquently put. Glad those photos were appropriate for you post.
Molly, I'm sorry that you and your brother were left to take on all that responsibility and blame. Stockholm Syndrome is such an interesting concept to me. While some people think it's crazy, I think it's another brilliant way to survive.
Laurel, I love that you saw the double meaning of the butterflies, too. The first photo is our favorite because it distinctly shows the separate shards. I especially like that the butterflies look as though they're about to take flight.
Thanks Elle for your comments and the links. :)
I loved the shard effect of the Butterfly Swirl!
Oh, my. I just noticed the title of Butterfly Awakening. Wow.
I love art that the more you look at it, the more you see. :)
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