Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration.
Change like genius requires work, lots of it. For me, I didn't just need to learn new things, I needed to unlearn unhealthy behaviors. I spent almost 2 years peeling back the layers covering my memories. I was shocked over and over as to what my 'ideal' childhood hid. Nightmares remembered. Flashbacks. Sick to my stomach. Sometimes my body was so stressed during counseling that my throat would close off so I couldn't speak. I learned to take cough drops that counter acted this reaction. In counseling, I doubted my own memories, I felt sick at what happened to me, I jokingly called the counselors office the torture chamber. KavinCoach taught me to baby step my way through the mess. I learned to accept who I was and choose to become healthy. Before integration, my different selves actually started to work together rather than an endless argument of who had to take charge. I am reading several blogs and some are encountering some rough times in counseling. If you are experiencing this, keep up the hard work. It does get better. Sometimes a list of changes may help keep goals in mind. One blogger puts her lists of monthly goals on line to keep herself accountable. Before integration I set goals and failed often. I realized during counseling if I halfheartedly accept a goal, I become my own worse enemy. I also learned that sometimes relaxing and playing is good therapy. This evening I spent almost an hour wrestling and tickling two preschool grandsons. It was a work out for me and fun for them. When they got tired, we quit playing rather than getting to the point that someone cried. We had fun. It felt good. The work in counseling is paying off with improved relationships and a greater feeling of peace than I have ever known. I am thankful I did the work that brought me to this point. I keep working towards healthy thriving. I am starting to experience those feelings, awesome. :)
I moved on two occasions. After three and a half years I felt my psychiatrist had nothing else to offer and I left my support group when I realized it had become a crutch and I needed to stand on my own two feet. Both moves were made after consultation and in both cases I was commended for my decision.
I totally agree. KavinCoach moved and NewCounselor given me a different perspective. I am fortunate with both of my counselors. On the other hand, I changed doctors when I had a doctor treat me like I was a waste of his time. The second doctor treated me with respect. Being respected by your couselor or doctor makes a huge difference in treatement and progress. Thanks mulderfan for bringing up this point.
