It Does Exist

   It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man.




He would know plenty about both.

 WARNING this post touches on subjects that are triggering for some people.

I come across quotes that really strike a cord with me, then I put them in a post and save the draft.  Waiting for further inspiration as to why the quote struck me as important to save.  Other quotes, I pass on at facebook or save to my desk top to remind me or encourage me in life.  I used posters with these quotes in high school.  There were all over my room in high school.

Life is a journey not a Destination
You can mourn because rose bushes have thorns; or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

These two I can quote without even looking them up.

However, this quote by Einstein, struck a deep cord that resonated like the thrum from the Mines of Moria.  For those that have not read the Lord of the Rings, it is a place deep under the mountains where Dwarves had mined too deeply and disturbed a Balrog.  A murderous monster that destroys everything and everyone.  I first read this series of books as a 7th grader.  One of the few books I ever read in junior high that wasn't required.  I poured over the pages and memorized lines.  For here, someone addressed the Evil that exists in the world.  My parents were of the variety that wanted to see the good in everyone while gossiping about their short comings.  When KavinCoach first tried to get me to talk about my past, I threw up one barrier after another.  He finally gave me a coloring book about emotions that he would normally give a child.  For me to write it in, I had to go into a closet with a light.  Shut the door. Use crayons for the youngest alter, Ruthie, to share what she felt.  The process was agonizing push past fear to get her to share.  Then there was a page that asked you to draw a picture of telling what bad thing happened.  I scribbled all over the page with different colors then finally black over the entire page.  I took the coloring book back to KavinCoach.  He thumbed through the book then stopped at this page.  Hello RAGE.  He recognized that what we were about to delve into would not be just run of the mill hurting.  This was deep, dark and scary.  So much of those memories from my childhood are still covered in darkness.  However, I know enough to know what I need to heal.  The first year, I wanted to remember everything and get my life back.  By the time I integrated, I accepted that some memories are better to be left alone.  The greatest gift was to NOT remember the details.  I knew what it was to be at the mercy of an evil man.  To this day, I believe the way I survived was splitting and he didn't know how to reach the real me.  He created Marie, emotionless, obedient, and apparently totally under his thumb.  I read in different places today that says, "There's no right or wrong, just different points of view."  "The holocaust didn't really happen." "There is no such thing as evil." To these goody-goody voices that wish to deny that anything truly evil exists, I've been there.  It exists.

The other book I read in junior high was the New Testament.  I didn't read it with my parents.  I read it by myself just as I read the Lord of the Rings.  There I learned about Christ.  My testimony of Christ strengthened and grew until as a Junior in high school my friends teased me unmercifully about my religion.  I chose to have new friends rather than allow them to continue to disparage my belief in Christ.  Unlike the psychology books say, I developed my relationship with Christ while experiencing the depths of Hell.  He knew where I was and pulled me to spiritual safety.  How?  I do not know.  Why?  The only answer I could come up with was, He really loves me.  KavinCoach was astounded by my very firm belief that Jesus Christ is my savior.  He lives and He led me out of Hell.  I love the quote, "Don't tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big your God is."