C-PTSD

My sister introduced me to these web sites.  

http://outofthefog.net/Disorders/CPTSD.html#CPTSDIntroduction

Difference between C-PTSD & PTSD

Although similar, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) differs slightly from the more commonly understood & diagnosed condition Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in causes and symptoms.

C-PTSD results more from chronic repetitive stress from which there is little chance of escape. PTSD can result from single events, or short term exposure to extreme stress or trauma.

Therefore a soldier returning from intense battle may be likely to show PTSD symptoms, but a kidnapped prisoner of war who was held for several years may show additional symptoms of C-PTSD.

Similarly, a child who witnesses a friend's death in an accident may exhibit some symptoms of PTSD but a child who grows up in an abusive home may exhibit the additional C-PTSD characteristics

 http://roots2blossom.wordpress.com/2012/10/28/coping-with-ptsd-flashbacks-proactively/

Some coping methods
1. Hold onto a special object, put your feet on the ground, touch something around you, or hold someone’s hand to bring yourself back into the here and now. (I like to make coffee. I don’t drink it all, but the process is so routine and soothing, and I love the smell)
2. Remind yourself that you’re safe now; the traumatic event isn’t happening again. (take mental pictures, step back and just look)
3. Listen to soothing music. (in headphones, overrides negative thoughts, in room is just annoying to me)
4. Write in your journal. (Blog!)
5. One of my favorites: get your partner (if you have one) to lie beside you and hold your hand or massage your neck or back.
6. Go for a walk. (I hate going outside when I feel like that)
7. Do an easy and repetitive activity. Some suggestions include playing solitaire, knitting, doing crossword puzzles: basically anything that provides a distraction. (My computer games!)
8. Practice deep breathing. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth, making whatever noise feels good on the exhale.
9. Cry. (Lots and lots of crying)
10. Give yourself permission to feel terrible. Struggling only makes things worse. (this one is hard, super hard. working on this one)

One of the shockers for me after integration, C-PTSD was still a part of who I am.  I thought integration meant that the C-PTSD went away.  I was furiously angry when I found out otherwise.  The next stunning surprise was to find out that multiple personalities was how I coped with C-PTSD. It was my magic carpet to zoom me to another place where pain ceased to exist.  The horror ceased to exist.  The nightmares ceased to exist.  I was once asked why I didn't use drugs...Why?  I didn't need them to disappear.  My own mind let me cease to exist. Imagine Aladin racing across the desert on his magic carpet and a giant hand yanked the rug out from under him.  Yup.  After the euphoria of succeeding in integrating, it was kind of like that.   I came to Earth with a bump and a crash.  KavinCoach smiled benignly and said, "Welcome to my world."  I let him know in very short order that I thought his world SUCKED.  Then a whole new type of learning began.  I learned the skills I needed to grow.  The saddest thing about being a multiple personality is I didn't get to grow up.  There was a 5 year old me frozen in time hoarding my secrets with no time or space to grow up.  Releasing her secrets released her to grow up and take her rightful place with me.  We deserved to be together, whole.  I know some people choose not to integrate.  I can certainly see why.  For me, I wanted me to be together for me.  I feel whole.  I feel like the difference between pieces of thread laid out side by side and a rope twisted tightly together.  I am still learning to cope with C-PTSD.  No more magic carpet.  I am OK with that.  I am where I need to be for me.