http://www.positivelypositive.com/2013/03/12/destabilizing-the-bullying-power-structure/
This week seems to be one thing leading to another and me tripping over my comments on another person's blogs. A trigger started a land slide of misunderstandings, inflammatory statements on my part without a clear explanation, and kindness of two other people helping me see that yesterdays post was very timely. Which leads to this blog post by Positively Positive. This post intrigued me but I didn't have time to read it for a couple of days. I followed the links to the school and the video. The statement that lead me to such a thorough investigation was this:
Bullying persists when bureaucracies and hierarchies permit it to continue.
It’s easier to keep order in an environment where bullying can thrive (and vice versa), because the very things that permit a few to control the rest also permit bullies to do their work. The bully uses the organization’s desire for conformity to his own ends.
I read it again and again while flashes and images of my childhood where my mother encouraged bullying in our home. She pitted us against each other. My father did too, sometimes. It never occurred to me that through this bullying we were more controllable. It rocked my thinking. Too many weeks of calm and it is time to shake loose some mental sludge. Not everyone behaves like my abusers. Some people make a statement without expecting me to change my opinion to make it match. Most people recognize that their opinion is just that, their opinion. (Imagine that.) I thought I was cutting myself loose from my past but only recreating the same scenarios in my present. Sit back. Slow down. Think. One of the links from this article led to a video project called "Own It." It acknowledges that each person is weird in their own way. There really is no such thing as conformity with so many unique people running around.
Own it http://ownitnyc.org/
Years of counseling tore up my make believe childhood and handed me one a little closer to the truth. After integrating, I thought I would be 'normal'. I was so disappointed that I was still weird and still forgot things and still socially challenged and still a math geek and still... you get the picture I was still uniquely me and I needed to accept all of me. I need to Own who I am. I need to say Hi my name is Ruth and I am uniquely awesome...How about you?
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5 comments:
One of the things I'm trying to learn in my group is that I can express a feeling or opinion, and keep sticking to that even if it makes someone else angry, upset, or just disagree. It's a difficult lesson for me and for the whole group. take care.
I think I need to work on the same lesson. Thanks Ellen.
Hi, I'm Evan and I'm unique.
Not sure about awesome - I find it hard to do comparisons.
The bullying at home was re-enforced with bullying at school. I had some teachers who were real bullies. The quote you used has caused a whole bunch of puzzle pieces to fall into place. Wow!
I, I'm Judy, and I'm unique, and when I can see past all the sludge, I'm pretty awesome.
I remember my last principal calling me a "Loose Cannon" because I refused to participate in an illegal teachers' strike. I was considered weird because I didn't think you could expect your teenage students to follow the rules if you went out and broke the law yourself.
These days I brag about the time I was called a "Loose Cannon" because I take it as a huge compliment.
My name's Pat and, to me, weird MEANS awesome!
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