Question myself.

 I grew up in the era of Equality for women, "You've come a long way baby", you can have it all, nothing is stopping you but you..... You are not good enough if you are "just a housewife."  Society tore women to shreds.  I did the research on ERA.  Women ended up being more impoverished, more limited, and more burdened, in my opinion.  I learned that you cannot legislate attitude.  I left engineering to become a home engineer with 6 life time projects.  The concept was for each project to no longer need me by the time the projects were 18 years old.  My children were leaving home and I wanted to strengthen my relationship with my husband.  I learned a lot of the things that are shared in this article. 

http://www.positivelypositive.com/2013/03/20/5-questions-every-woman-should-ask-herself/

"...the work first starts with yourself."

Questions to ask yourself.....

1. Are you keyed in to where your passion lies?
 Years of twisting into shapes that will fit the spaces readily available to us can take us away from whom we yearn to be.
 
2. Can you pinpoint limiting ideas you have about yourself that keep you in a cycle of guilt or inaction?
Some common areas of concern for women are:
- What does being a good mother mean to you?
- How confident are you about your capabilities?
- How do you integrate your strengths into your life?

3. What is the underlying motivation behind your goals and dreams?

4. Do you put yourself in the right environment to receive the right kind of support for your growth?

5. Are you actively refining and “weeding out” activities that no longer serve you or hold your interest?

But, the one that made the biggest impression on me, and served as an empowering tool for her as well, was the following statement: our work always starts with ourselves!

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Angella Nazarian is a bestselling author and noted speaker. Both of her books Life as a Visitor and the newly released Pioneers of the Possible: Celebrating Visionary Women of the World have become bestsellers for the publisher and have garnered glowing reviews from Arianna Huffington, Tina Brown, Martha Stewart, and Diane von Furstenberg. To learn more about Angella, visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
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*Photo Credit: Send me adrift. via Compfight cc

 Counseling was my forum for questioning myself.  I had no childhood memories to pick a part with my counselor.  He assigned stories of other people's lives to see how I reacted.  Conclusion: I was severely messed up in my thinking but not in my desire to improve.   I tore apart the entire foundation of my life examined each piece and pondered what to keep and what to pitch.  I needed to be careful not to throw away the good parts in my drive to eliminate the rotted thoughts and perceptions that were keeping me immobilized.  Change is hard, massive change affected every part of my life, every thought, every belief, every tradition.  I reached critical mass, change or die.  My survival instincts are powerful.  I survived a difficult childhood.  But I was stuck huddling in survival mode.  I tried for years to make changes myself with very little progress.  I needed outside coaching to teach me paths that actually worked instead of running in circles until I was exhausted.  Do you want to change your life?  Start with questioning yourself first.  I discovered that by changing myself everyone around me altered, not because I controlled them, it was because I responded differently.  I was different - the picture changed.

Transformation