And if ashes are all that remain of me
then I shall content myself in knowing that
at least at one point, I have burned.
My BS-ometer* just went off. I AM A PHOENIX!!!!!!!
Too many times, too many people settle for having loved once, lived once, but are still alive. This mentality of 'once-n-done' only works for floor cleaners. The truly amazing thing about humans is their ability to get up and fight on against the odds. Taking broken dreams and reforging them into something different and more amazing. The ability to look at the ashes of their life and rise up out of them. Is it possible to curl up in the ashes and suffer?...sure it is. We are human with the gift of choice. I lived in a spot that I thought I was boxed in with 'this was all I was going to get' so settle in and enjoy what little I have. Do not expect anything - you won't be disappointed. Today, I was disappointed. It was a small disappointment. I sat here in that feeling and tested it. Pushed it around. Was disappointment toxic? I don't think so. Not enjoyable but not soul destroying. I think what would have been toxic is if I let that disappointment become the only thing. This specializing of "I can only have this one thing, without it I am nothing," this is a bunch of crock. Two videos come to mind. Three books.
Derek Redmond
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t-NAum8kY8
Nick Vujicic (I remembered one video but I found a 3 part video of his No arms no legs no worries series.)
http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/ His web page
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo_24_qTNac part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bL3GR4iAW0 part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxJ8Sd2Z1Yk part 3
Respect - Perspective - Choice
A Child Called It and A Man Called Dave, Dave Pelzer
Man's Search for Meaning Viktor Frankl
The Hiding Place and Tramp for the Lord Corrie Ten Boom
All amazing examples of taking what life gave them and turning into something else. Taking hurt, pain, fear, and immense trials and saying what can I do with this. I read one of the comments on Nick's video "I was depressed until I saw this video. Now I am depressed and nauseous. Thanks for nothing Nick!" I believe the commenter expected watching Nick's video to fix him. The quick fix I can do some easy thing and my life will be hunky dory. It didn't happen for me. A destructive childhood, difficult parents, a life tragedy can all put my life in flames. What I do with the ashes is my choice, do I wallow in them or rise up out like the Phoenix?
*BS-ometer polite way to say BullShit-ometer.
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