http://lifebegins45.wordpress.com/2013/02/06/post-traumatic-stress-and-ruminating/
I follow several amazing blogs. This is the link to one of them. Gave me a lot to think about.
Recently I took on a challenge to amp up my exercising. Joel over at the Blog of Impossible (http://joelrunyon.com/two3/moderation-is-overrated) things has been challenging me since August. I got his news letter and then his No Excuse exercise work out and then he challenged me to make a difference in my life in 8 weeks. I usually measure my progress in years. Seven years to get my health together enough to be able to take care of my family. 11 years cancer survivor. 9 years counseling. I don't measure progress in weeks there is no point. Silly me. I didn't know myself very well at all. Now, that I think about it I went from zero computer knowledge to passing my A+ Certification in 16 weeks. I have done other things that were tough but I was in the HABIT of thinking myself unable to do things. I was in the HABIT of believing it takes me years to change. Somethings do take a long time, that is true. But what this 8 week challenge taught me was how I thought about myself was a HABIT that was keeping me stuck. Some habits can build you up, but some of them hold you down. The habit of ruminating falls in that category. The habit of thinking I'm no good is in that category. The habit of emotionally beating myself up for common mistakes is in that category. Habits can be like threads, I can either bind them together to make a rope to pull myself up, or twist those threads around me until I'm not going anywhere. I did this once with a class of teenagers. I asked for a volunteer. I had him put his hands together and I tied a single thread around his wrists. He snapped the tread quickly. Then I had him put his arms together again and started wrapping and wrapping that thread around. He soon realized it was a good thing he trusted me because I had him tied up in no time. Took scissors to get him out. After these last 8 weeks, I am taking a look at other habits that seem to bind me instead of giving me a hand up.
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| Spring cleaning is good for the soul as well as the house. |
3 comments:
Abuse survivors free themselves of their demons by talking about what happened to professionals and such. If dwelling on the past and retelling our story to anyone who will listen is a habitual IMO it becomes a form of self-harm. Wallowing in self-pity and being unable to move forward with my life led me to drink, another bad habit!
"Poor Me" had no business taking up room in my head so I kicked her to the curb along with my abusers.
Ruth, you always seem to hit on the things I'm dealing with. I've been in a habit of saying out loud or thinking in my head often, "I want to go home." I guess it's a part of grieving no contact, but I also know there's no "going home" because NFOO was never safe. It's a matter of missing what never was. Anyway, the other day, I decided every time that thinking pops up, I'm going to tell myself, "I AM home." It has helped change a pattern of feeling that wistful loss.
High five mulderfan. "Poor Me" just lets the abusers inside my head. They need to be kicked out of there too.
I love it Brace. I am going to change some of my thought words. I used to sing, "there's a place for us, somewhere a place for us" then I realized I make that place. I so understand longing for home. Hugs.
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