- She missed the mark a bit on this one. After my husband died there were
days when I couldn't even get out of bed and get dressed. Grief can
still sneak up and catch me off guard.
A few months ago when I had someone treat me just like my father had it was like being punched in the stomach and I had to struggle not to throw up. My heart raced and I was covered in sweat.
She forgot cutting too. A form of self-harm very commonly used to control emotions, especially in younger women. A dirty little secret seldom discussed which often goes hand in hand with eating disorders.
IMO Emotions can kill you!
This comment came from my internet sister in thriving. She gets what I am going to share today. Yesterday, I shared Ruthless Compassion's words of encouragement to face your own emotions because they won't kill you....unfortunately, my experience taught me that emotions can make my life a living hell and suicide seem reasonable solution. You notice that I write 'seem'. Suicide is not a reasonable solution. Unfortunately, suicide is reaching epidemic proportions. Suicide is enmeshed with how a person feels, their emotions. Hans Seley and many others study the body's flight or fight reaction. Emotions can trigger the flight or fight syndrome as surely as a hungry tiger on the loose. I can escape a tiger but I can't escape how I feel. I've made a lot of progress in the last 25 years. Progress that was hard fought. I like Ruthless Compassion, however this time she hit a sore spot. I know from experience how very painful emotions can be. I struggled with the emotional pain, especially during the time before counseling when I had no memories for why I felt so bad. I added feeling guilty on top of all the other emotions. Feeling guilty because I had a good life but I felt so sad. Feeling guilty because I couldn't seem to pull myself out of this darkness that surrounded me. I felt punished because I prayed for help and my only answer seemed to say, "What are you going to do about it?" But I wasn't being punished...God gave me a chance to do something about it. I read, studied, got counseling, and worked at changing. Then last week an incident at school opened the flood gates of emotional stuff I held at bay. Too much emotion is called flooding....as Dr. Seley and others demonstrated the flight or fight aftermath wrecks havoc on the body. However, I do believe that emotions are not the enemy. Emotions are my early warning system that something is off kilter. Emotions clue me into a wealth of information about myself and others. Emotions intensify with suppression, like turning on the heat in a pressure cooker....eventually something got to give. Emotions are powerful and part of who I am. I kill my emotions, I kill who I am. My emotions may not kill me but neglected they can make me very miserable to where I wish I were dead. The battle is won, one day at a time recognizing what I feel and why I feel it. Then deciding what I am going to do about it.
4 comments:
Alcoholics who sober up are often overwhelmed by the emotions they used to numb with booze. It often hits like a ton of bricks when they are four to seven months sober. It's no coincidence that is when many relapse by picking up a drink.
Another example of how emotions CAN kill because, left untreated, alcoholism is a progressive and ultimately fatal disease.
(Love having a sister!)
"I kill my emotions, I kill who I am", absolutely!
My parents tried to eradicate all emotions from their children resulting in me being completely messed up. Is it wrong to show emotion? No, it’s normal. In an ideal world, with help and support of loving parents, all children would learn how to deal with their emotions. For example 'It's OK to cry when you are sad'. If you're not allowed to show emotion it creates anxiety and deep distress which can damage your heart. I've been diagnosed with Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (broken heart syndrome) from years of anxiety and not showing emotion.
When my little dog (Molly) died a few months ago at the age of seventeen, it was the only time my husband has seen me cry.
I am grateful for what I have gleaned from your excellent posts Ruth.
Thanks mulderfan, I suspect the same thing happens with counseling, people go for a few months and find out it isn't as easy as they may have thought. "We have met the enemy and they is us." Glad to have you as my sister and I appreciate your consistent encouragement and comments.
Thank you colleen Kellie for sharing your experience. One of the social tragedies of this century is the warped belief that 'perfect' parents have 'perfect children' that are all smiles and no sadness nor anger nor any other negativity. Impossible for the parents and the kids.
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