Stop Running!

"It has been my philosophy of life that difficulties vanish when faced boldly."
- Isaac Asimov
Click Here For Success Tip # 041

Just stop....really. Sometimes that is possible...sometimes not. The thing about blanket commands is there is always exceptions to the rules. If a person is still in danger, Run like crazy. For those that are no longer in danger I agree, stop running from the shadows, the memories, the distorted lessons, the nightmares, the fears, the twisted emotions, face yourself. In the list of 10 things you must give up to move forward by marc #7 Must stop Running from problems that should be fixed.  Yup, stop running and get out the tool box to fix things.  Well, I did just that only to discover that I didn't have any tools in my tool box.  This is when I started counseling.  I had no tools except one...shut down.  I ran and hid from myself.  I dissociated.  Counseling helped me to expand my tool set to a variety of different things to help me cope in different situations.  I would have a disruption or upset during the week and my counselor would walk me through different choices I had for solving the problems.  I think that was one of the toughest problems for me, I would be told to stop and face my problems, but I didn't know what to do if I did.  I was confused by human behavior.  I was troubled by why people did what they did.  I spent 10 years learning tools to put in my tool box to fix personal problems, fix emotional problems, fix myself so I could function more fully in relationships.  I wanted to face my problems boldly but it all felt like false bravado.  I remember times when KavinCoach would ask me how I would solve a problem, I would stare at him blankly without a single clue how to even begin.  Without my memories to work with, he requested that I read books about other people.  He realized by my lack of responses that I truly had no idea how to function in the world.  He spent 7 years teaching me.  After he moved, he connected me with MyCounselor he continued my education.  I was fortunate that both my counselors had the goal to help me become a healthy adult with a full set of tools to fix my own life.  I learned about boundaries.  I learned about personal rights.  I learned about "no" being a complete sentence.  I learned that I am not required to love those that hurt me.  I learned to protect myself.  I learned to walk away from dangerous situations.  I learned how to listen to my own truth.  I learned to discern lies.  I spent hours and hours studying, practicing, and changing how I function.  I can now follow Isaac Asimov's philosophy to boldly face difficulties and watch them vanish.  Interesting that I learned bullies flee when faced boldly.  Problems get resolved when tackled with a healthy problem solving skill set.  Life becomes an adventure instead of a house of horrors.  I believe firmly now that the healthy choice is to face my problems and fix the ones I can.  Accept the ones I can't and keep a healthy distance from danger.  Yea yea, I know the last one is supposed to be the wisdom to know the difference.  I am still a work in progress.