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I collect angels. Lots of them. It started out innocent enough. One year after Christmas I was at the fabric store and there was one lone Christmas angel sitting on the shelf. People don't have much use for a Christmas angel after Christmas. It was discounted 75% off and I felt sorry for it sitting there all alone. I had a cubby hole of an office that I sat in all alone, too. So, I bought the angel and took it to my office so we could keep each other company. Nobody saw it except me. The next angel didn't come until the following year. It was another Christmas angel dressed beautifully in a purple dress. I bought it at 50% off at Thanksgiving time. It joined the other one. Now 2 angels do not make a collection. I hadn't mentioned them to anyone. Then I seemed to be seeing angels everywhere. I hauled one home from the thrift store. A childish little angel that looked lonely and forgotten. For a dollar, I took it home. This one I left in my sewing room. More and more of them started showing up. I confessed to my sister my fascination and bordering on obsession of finding angels. For my birthday, she added a beautiful ceramic angel. I kept it safely in my sewing room with my gathering group of angels. I mentioned to different people that I was indeed collecting angels. Christmas and birthday gifts were angels. I enjoyed tucking them in different corners around my house. Not only angels but fairies started appearing in my rooms. After a couple of years I realized collecting angels and fairies was more than just a passing fancy. About this time I took a photography class where I needed a subject that would lend itself well to book form of presentation. I decided to do a series of pictures of my angels and fairies. The professor was very encouraging to do the project. I didn't realize she was setting me up. I already had a high grade in the class so I was able to be more relaxed about the outcome of this project. I took pictures of my angels and displayed them in an accordion style book I created. It was not as intense or dynamic as many of my other projects but I felt it was a nice project showing off some of my angels. Then critique day came. I was accustomed to professors treating these as a way to talk about images and how we react to them, informative interesting sharing of different perspectives about each art project. I decided to go first and get it over with. At first everyone was quiet, which is not unusual for a critique day. Everyone waiting for the other person to get the ball rolling. On this day, the teacher suddenly jumped in taunting that we were afraid to talk about them because God was involved. Off came the 'nice teacher' face and in her place was a woman intent on a vicious attack. Our earlier discussions had given me no indication of how much she hated angels. I was stunned. Fortunately stunned enough not to defend myself and escalate the attack. I learned long ago that no reaction had some interesting spin offs. I reviewed my own behavior. Had I been pushy and rude about my angels? Then I thought again. I recognized them as dolls dressed up. Plus there were fairies too. This onslaught was her own personal rage and she wanted to be able to berate me publicly. I realized two things: her raging was not about me or my pictures and I could remain calm and disconnected without having a complete melt down. The poor woman didn't realize that my fascination stemmed from the symbolism of the wings. Wings gave power to soar away from danger.
Angels are an important part of the Christmas story since they shared the news of Christ's birth to the shepherds. The lowly shepherds came to greet the sweet baby Jesus after hearing the angels message. There are literally thousands of stories about angels. However, when you prayed as a little girl to be protected from abuse and it doesn't happen the stories are hard to believe. I still collect angels, fairies, and butterflies. I believe in angels. I also believe that sometimes humans will do terrible things to other people and nothing stops them from making that choice. I have felt comforted by angels of peace. I don't know all the answers, I do know that if you are looking for angels, you will find them, many times in the most unlikely places.
8 comments:
Wow, that's ridiculous, your teacher. What a vicious and ridiculous woman. That must have given you a scare. Nothing warrants that behavior, you were just a student doing her art project.
What a weird way to spoil a good idea. I thought it was a good idea. And I really like these portraits.
I was relieved because she didn't scare me. I just felt sorry for her. A big step for me to not let her opinion affect how I felt. Thanks Lisa for telling me you like my pictures. That gives me real pleasure.
Hi Ruth
Love the pictures of your angels they are beautiful!
I believe your first angel sitting on the shelf was waiting for you. Angels are all around guiding us; we only have to believe in them for them to help.
I don’t like the sound of that woman professor; I won’t say lady cos she ain’t one. It does sound like she set you up for her own pretentiousness. I am glad you didn’t rise to the bait, that is probably what she was hoping for and I am sure she would have had several put downs ready. I think your angel was protecting you by keeping you calm.
XX Molly
When I had my craft business I used to make angels out of four little wooden spools and a wooden ball. I added blonde hair, lace, ribbon and a sparkly halo. They sold like hot cakes but I think it might be because of this poem I wrote to go with them:
"Where ever you go.
Whatever you do.
Here is an angel
To watch over you."
I loved making all sorts of angels but the white teddies dressed as angels were my favourite! They're fun to make because you can go over the top with their beautiful clothes and glitzy trimmings.
You are definitely right about the wings Ruth! Dreams being able to fly are supposed to mean you want to escape, thankfully, mine are gone now!
The teacher sounds like another case of knocking someone down in order to build yourself up...typical bully in a position of power. Getting no reaction must have been a disappointment for her. Good on you, Ruth!
Thanks Molly, I suspect my frazzled guardian angel had a firm hand over my mouth. :) I believe you are right. The angels I have found seemed to be waiting for me. I buy them less often now and I see them less often. It is all in what you are looking for.
Take care,
Ruth
Hugs mulderfan, I think you are right about the poem. The angels are fun and the clothes are beautiful. I actually found one with a simple corduroy dress and a soft look in her eyes. She is one of my favorites. You are right about the teacher. No reaction was a disappointment for her. I learned a lot about how well I can handle myself around a bully. I found out this year from someone else that they didn't think she was a very nice person either. Kind of like validation after the fact that I had assessed the situation correctly. I am glad you are feeling more at peace that you don't feel a need to escape. Maybe that is why I am now buying fewer of them. :)
What a sad little person she was.
I do love the angels and the wings.
:-)
Good description... she was sad. I learned a lot about not allowing someone else decide the value of what I did. "There is no one so ignorant that you can't learn something from them." Not sure who said it but I am starting to apply it more often. Thanks for the angels. :)
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