Being vs Doing

I was raised with list.  I had lists for my lists.  I had lists for cleaning.  I had lists for my daily schedule.  I had lists everywhere.  Logical that I would rebel against lists.  So anything that started with, 'To get the most out of your day.....write a list and prioritize....' Fell on deaf ears.*  List didn't work anyway.  Well, when I was a multiple lists made no sense if one of the others wrote it and then expected someone else to carry it out.  Have you ever noticed that "lists grow"?  Seriously like a virus they can lay dormant and then suddenly rapidly fill several pages.  At the beginning of every year, when people made lists of their goals, I ran and hid, preferably under the covers with a good book.  Doomed.  I was not a doer of lists.  A complete failure in the environment I grew up in.

KavinCoach asked me to tell me about myself. 
I told him all about going to school, being a mom with six kids, helping at church... 
He shook his head.  Nope.  Tell me about yourself...
Excuse me I just did.
No, you told me what you do not who you are? 
Run that past me again in smaller words.  

KavinCoach introduced me to the concept of being.  Apparently, what you be is not the same as what you do.  OK.  Deep breath.  New concept I mulled it over for quite a while.  (Whenever I am given a new concept information about it pops up all over.)  I listened to several very inspiring speeches about deciding what you will be and becoming that.  But how do I know I be something, unless I do something about it?

Stories and examples help me to grasp some of these head game concepts.  When I was a little girl, I remember looking out my bedroom window one cold frosty morning.   A miracle was there in the form of spider webs all over the bush with dew drop diamonds glistening with tiny rainbows.  It was an amazing sight.  I ran to get my mother to show her the wondrous sight.  No dear, I can't come right now I am putting breakfast on the table.  Running to look out your window is not on my To Do list.  Maybe later.  Later was too late.  The magical moment was gone.  I suspect in her mind to Be a good wife and mother she was putting breakfast on the table.  To Be a good mother to me, I wanted her to stop what she was doing and come see a wonder that lasted but a moment. 

I struggled with what did you do to show who you are?  If I am a photographer and never do anything about it, what difference does it make in being a photographer.  This is the conclusion I came to: I am not a list of things I do, I am a person that is a lot of different attributes that influence what I decide to do.  What I be determines what I do.  When I think about changes and the things I want to bring into my life, I consider what I need to do to get those things in my life.  If I want to be a kind person than practicing the 5/50 rule will get me there.  (Doing random acts of kindness that can't take longer that 5 minutes or cost more than 50 cents.)  If I want to be organized, then I need to do the things I need to do to get that way.  If I want to be a photographer, then I need to get my camera out and go take pictures and do something with them.  

As I ponder my adjustments to my goals this year I need to consider who I am right now and what do I want to choose to improve myself.  I can stay exactly as I am and that would be Ok but I really like finding ways to make myself a better person.  So evaluating myself is not a focus on all my faults and trying to correct them, it is more like taking an inventory and seeing what strengths I have that I can continue to develop and what weaknesses I have that I would like to become strengths.  And sometimes I need to just run to the window and look out at the wonder of the world.  


*Tiny joke:  I really am partially deaf.  I can hear fairly well with hearing aides.  :)