Sisters...

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.

Henry Ford


 Many years ago but 5 years after I was born my sister joined our family.  I thought she was a miracle and my mother strengthened that feeling encouraging me to view her as mine.  I adored my sister, Judy.  We became room mates for most of our growing up years.  The house was large but us girls almost always roomed together.  Struggles occurred when my mother expected my sister that was 5 years younger to go with me where ever I went.  Five years is a big difference between an 11 year old and a 6 year old.  Always I felt a need to watch over her.  When I married, I made choices that we grew far apart.  She still came up to visit me after 2 of my children were born to help out with the other kids.  I admired her strength.  I admired her sense of humor.  I admired her strong faith in Christ.  I also sensed that for many years I was a major disappointment.  The dynamics of our relationship changed dramatically when I entered counseling that switched from marriage counseling to counseling for me.  Marriage counselor explained that there wasn't much that could be done for my marriage until he was dealing with just one integrated person.  Several months into the counseling I was at my parents house and joked about the strange conversation I had with KavinCoach.  He asked me about my childhood.  I laughed and said, "It was great I went to the park and the zoo."  He pressed on and asked me to tell him an average day.  I confessed that I had no idea about my childhood and was aware that I hadn't known since high school.  After this conversation Judy walked with me out to the car.  She questioned me about my memories.  I continued to joke, "What memories?"  She questioned me about one specific event.  I was probably 9 years old and she was 4, so pretty and lively. The more she talked the sicker I felt, within minutes of the conversation starting, I nearly passed out.  I do remember her saying with kind of an odd wonder in her voice, "You really don't remember anything."  She never again pressed me to remember something.  From that moment on, she became one of my strongest and one of the most accepting supporters.  We started walking together for one of the Komen Races and now we walk every Saturday and talk about anything and everything.  She accepted me when I was a multiple personality.  She would chastise 'Sammy' for his reckless driving.  Once she understood Ruthy, she was one of the few people that I felt safe enough for her to come out.  (KavinCoach rarely saw her.  I am not even sure if he ever had a complete conversation with her.)  Then when I integrated and became a different person yet again, she rejoiced in the change and continued to encourage me to grow, be fair to others and myself, and generally made my life better on so many levels.  I enjoy walking with her, her sense of humor and her wonderful testimony of Christ.  I thank God everyday that my sister is in my life. 

Walking in the park.