For many it is already Christmas Eve...

Tonight on Facebook Sandy posted this thought:

Love these gift ideas:
posted by Sandy, "Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect." - Oren Arnold

 This time of year is hard for many abuse survivors.  The Christmas holiday seems to be high with expectations.  Words like 'forgiveness', 'love', and 'peace' were often twisted beyond all recognition and used to manipulate and emotionally abuse already battered victims.  The child was held responsible for the 'happiness' of the adult at the expense of the child.  Tolerance was unheard of.  Perfection demanded and drama was the name of the game.  So how did I maintain my wonder of Christmas?  

 I love the lights, the smells, the wrapping, the baking, the making presents, the craziness, the decorating the Christmas tree, the singing, the little faces of kids as they open gifts, the food, the silliness, the 'you name it' I seem to like it.

What I don't like about Christmas....those that are in such a rush they will run you down if you don't watch out.  The screaming fits because somebody didn't behave just how they thought they should and you better read their mind.  The impatience and frustration over the littlest thing not being perfect.  Sticking to a miserable tradition because 'that is the way it was always done'.  Faking feelings...faking greetings...faking hugging that isn't real.  A person that didn't speak to me all year expects a gift and a hug.  Are you kidding me?  So gentle readers, I have had a lot to overcome to learn to love Christmas.  

Fair warning, tomorrow night I will be writing my post about Christ.  If you read my book, there is a chapter there sharing what I felt then.  If you choose not to read my post tomorrow, that's ok with me.  I understand and appreciate that not everyone believes in Christ.  I also understand that not everyone that believes in Christ view Him the same way.  KavinCoach and I had a number of interesting discussions because Christ was and continues to be a major player in my life and healing.  I had a philosophy teacher years ago that became fascinated by my perspective.  I didn't think I was anything different than anyone else.  That was before counseling.  I am interested by the fact that abuse survivors either have no faith or extreme faith in Christ.  It is as if abuse polarizes this belief.  No lukewarm with a survivor.     

Whatever your belief system...whatever your technique for survival...I hope each of you find a path to a place where you feel happiness and peace.