Logic and Reason

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forget their use. Galileo Galilei

I struggle with feeling emotions. I use logic and reason to sort out how I feel about things. I am also aware that my childhood has put a spin on things that I view many of life challenges a little differently.  I loved school because there were set rules that generally stayed the same.  I loved math because the rules worked.  If they didn't work, another rule was created.  Learn the rules and you could answer the questions.  I memorized many rules and did well on math tests.  Life doesn't always fit the rules.  As soon as a rule is made, someone finds an exception.  Life at times defies all logic.  That is were faith resides.  If things were always logical there would be no need for faith.  I also believe faith without thinking things through can be equally ill-advised. 

Depression is considered feeling bad.  A bad emotion.  A bad place to be.  Logically stopping the depression seems like a great idea. Lately however, I am recognizing that if it weren't for depression, I would be in anger management.  I lacked life skills, so to stop the anger, I depressed that emotion along with all the others.  Stop the depression and the anger rises to uncomfortable levels.  Kind of like a swarm of bees on the inside waiting to burst out.  Depression like cold weather slows everything way down.  Calms me on the inside and keeps my rage under control.  Counseling is teaching me more effective ways to address all my emotions.  KavinCoach was amazed by my logical and methodical way I would approach a discussion about emotions.  I am sure he some times enjoyed watching me puzzle out illogical emotions with reason.  I finally found the key I was looking for.  Emotions on the surface appear to be just there without reason.  When you slow down the thought process, dig a little deeper, surprisingly there can be a logical connect between past events and current reactions.  I was chastised recently for continuing to review my past.  The person felt that I needed to move on because I couldn't change it.  I was puzzled.  I didn't believe reviewing my past would mysteriously unlock away to change it.  I study my past to give me clues as why I react emotionally the way I do now.  If I can follow the connect, resolving the past issue allows me to lessen the emotional charge now. 

Another emotion considered bad is fear.  Some people go so far as to say it is of the devil.  I am well acquainted with fear.  However, I think fear would be a lousy tool for the devil to use.  More people are driven to their knees in fear than rejoicing any day.  In Christ time, 10 lepers came begging to be healed, only one of the 10 came back and thanked him.  I love the quote, "If you can't stand it, try your knees."  Know any one that made a deal with God when they felt very afraid and wanted out of a mess?  To me better tools would be something like complacency, self-satisfied, business, to me are far more likely to keep me from talking with God.  I am noticing as my anxiety goes up so do the number of prayers I say.
My thoughts twist around like a serpentine design. I find patterns in my past the help me recognize the same patterns in my present.  Without logic and reason, I feel condemned to repeat the patterns.  God blessed me with intelligence that I can learn from my past and create a brighter more interesting future.