Friday was a totally awesome great day and I ate twice as many sweets as usual. I am not supposed to have any but feeling deprived leads to binge eating. So I try to have one small piece of chocolate at lunch time and one after dinner. I knew that when I was stressed I tended to gravitate to certain comfort foods. I couldn't believe that when I was feeling so good inside I my eating was way out of control. What gives? It didn't take me long to remember that as a 5 year old I went with my mother to the doctor's office while she had allergy tests every week. If I was good, we would stop for ice cream at 31 Flavors on the way home. I always wanted the same thing, plain old chocolate. With all the varieties to choose from I only wanted one kind. (At age 5, I knew exactly what I wanted.) Immediately, I realized that I was still eating for emotional reasons. I was eating all the sweets because I was feeling good and wanted to reward myself. I thought this through recognized the source of the behavior and yesterday I went back to a better diet and what was healthy for me instead of feeding my emotions. That was an interesting lesson, doesn't matter if the emotions are stressful or delightful my reaction either way is self medicating with food. I knew that after a rough counseling session or some other high stress situation that I used food to comfort myself. It is a new lesson to clearly understand that I also use food to reward myself. Recognizing the pattern of what I did helped me to change my behavior. When I started to reach for the chocolate bar at the store today, I pulled my hand away and reminded myself that I don't have to have plain, old chocolate to know that life is good. I can use flowers or positive self talk or some other reward that feels good without adding sugar and calories that in the long run I feel worse because I beat myself up for not eating properly. Aging and health problems, AKA self neglect, requires me to pay attention to what I eat. A childhood history of food deprivation and using food to reward and punish set me up to a life time of struggle. I feel much better about my choices in eating today. I learned something new, just because I am feeling positive and happy that doesn't translate to taking care of myself in a healthy way. Oh my, I come a long way. I didn't need a counseling session to figure out what I was doing or to create a new solution to an old problem. This feels very good. :)
The Rules of Eating Chocolate
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A: Because no one wants to quit.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
IT'S EASTER/BIRTHDAY/CHRISTMAS/HALLOWEEN..DISEGARD RULES! 
First read in an email, found tonight on the internet at:
http://forums.bigfishgames.com/posts/list/156036.page
I love Google searches.
8 comments:
I'm trying to make myself be conscious of bad habits that were formed in childhood. I'm a butter hog because only my NPs were allowed to use butter when we were kids. I store (hoard?) ridiculous amounts of frozen and non-perishable food because while NF ate his fill, because he provided the food, my brothers and I were sometimes hungry.
Just like you, Ruth, I eat at both ends of the emotional spectrum for both comfort and reward, unfortunately my drinking followed the same pattern!
It took us years to develop these patterns so I think we have to be patient about how long it might take us to break them!
Hugs P/M
Hello Ruth
Loved your post. Here’s my rule
If you walk whilst eating chocolates you won’t gain weight.
Well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!!
XX, Molly
Hi Ruth
It's really great how you think things through on that level to identify why you are doing something and then change your behaviour to make it healthier as a result. You'd be a CBT therapists favourite client!
(((P/M))) I do the same thing with food. I really get anxious if there I don't have plenty of 'extra' food on hand. Thanks for pointing out that we have had these habits for years and I need to be patient undoing what I learned. :)
Molly that is a great rule. I need to add it to the list. Thanks.
Candy, I have come a long way. I know the steps to go through because KavinCoach would walk me through by asking me questions like, "Why did you do that?" "What experience in your past do remember having the same reaction?" "Is that a healthy way to react?" I am delighted that now I can do it without someone else prompting me.
I'm a huge fan of food storage, not because of the doom and gloom predictions but because I also stress if my food supply starts to dwindle. I know what it is to go hungry.
Love the Chocolate rules, and definitely adding Molly's!
Storing food is a great way to follow through on not setting yourself up to go hungry again.
Sweet food is my reward.
Slowly, slowly by eating less I have reduced my liking of sweetness somewhat. Soft drinks (soda pop for those in the US) now usually taste too sweet to me.
Still a ways to go though.
Thanks Evan. You are right many things now taste too sweet.
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