Neglect

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Continue on at your own risk.

Neglect to me is to do nothing.  When an adult neglects you as an adult, no problem you go to someone else and get your needs met else where.  So in a sense, neglect is mostly in relation to a child.  Child neglect can be accidental or on purpose.  An example that helped me to grasp what child neglect may look like.  A very young first time mother I knew complained that the state was trying to take her baby away.  She would leave the baby at home to go to the bar.  She fed the baby when ever she felt hungry a couple of times a day.  The state decided to educate her.  She was in shock to find out that the reason her baby cried all the time because her baby was hungry.  That a baby was not like a puppy hadn't occurred to her.  She changed her behavior and kept her child.  When I was around 9 years old, I told my mother that I wasn't getting enough for breakfast.  She answered, "I have to save enough food for your brother."  I continued to go hungry.  (Don't need to look far as to why I have issues with food.) Two examples that most people would recognize as neglect.  The first one I consider a dangerous mistake, the second one I consider abuse.   The news will some times hit you in the face with some of the more blatant and severe cases of neglect.  But often neglect happens a little at a time.  Both parents work.  Not enough money to go around.  Demands on their time.  Illness.  Parents are pulled a million directions.  Saddest recent change is the cell phone.  Instead of talking to their kids in the car,  kids are ignored while parents chat with everybody else.  Neglect is on the up-rise with more and more demands and distractions on parents.  However, I do think it is healthy for a child to have a certain amount of time where parents are not hovering over their every move.  Kids need to explore without constant interference from parents.  So how do you decide if neglect occurs at an abusive level?  How do you know when free time turns into neglect?  How do you deal with long term illness and raise your children?  Last question was a problem for me.  I suffered from severe depression over years of time.  (Because I rarely cry, I didn't recognize the problem as depression.  I kept searching for physical problems.  I had plenty of symptoms.)  As my body deteriorated, I was able to do less and less to care for our growing family.  I worried less and less about how the house looked and more and more about how I was going to care for the children.  I learned from my childhood that caring for kids is more than just giving them a roof over their head and clothes to wear.  I decided early on that I was not a housewife.  I did not marry the house.  I talked to my kids often and would listen to them.  I taught them how to look out for each other.  I made poor choices, too.  Choices I wished I could undo.  I learned that a person can say the words, "I love you," and still neglect you.  Children have basic needs for healthy food, safe housing, sufficient clothing, and emotional caring.  I learned that allowing a 4 year-old to walk to school alone like I did was neglect.  I fretted when my 6 year-old walked to school in a small town.  Now days, parents do everything they can to escort their kids to school.  The definition of responsible parenting is changing.  Each government unit has their standard for caring for children.  If you drop below that minimum standard you could have your children taken from your home by the government.  Most people stay above this standard.  Neglect is one of those things that can creep up on you.  I worked hard at paying attention to my children's needs but the bottom line, I often failed at meeting them.  Now they are parents and discovering that I fed them a very healthy diet.  Because of my obsession with food there was always plenty to eat.  We succeeded in some ways, needed to apologize in others.  Neglect is not restricted to any one economic class, race, religion, or group.  It can be found in any neighborhood.  Neglect can vary between children in the same home.  At its most extreme, can cause death.  The consequences for a child can last long into adulthood with feelings of not deserving to have their needs met, low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, difficulty with relationships, attachment disorder (an inability to connect with other people), difficulty trusting, hoarding, and the list goes on.

Neglectful parent may have some of these behaviors
Uncaring
Does not meet child's basic needs
Not have a babysitter when needed
Not enough food
Unsafe home or no home
Not interacting with child
Giving considerably more to one child verse another child. I call this neglect in comparison.
Refusing to meet emotional needs
 To add to my list from:  http://helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm
Warning signs of neglect...

• Clothes are ill-fitting, filthy, or inappropriate for the weather.
• Hygiene is consistently bad (unbathed, matted and unwashed hair, noticeable body odor).
• Untreated illnesses and physical injuries.
• Is frequently unsupervised or left alone or allowed to play in unsafe situations and environments.
• Is frequently late or missing from school.