Striking a chord

I follow several blogs and lately I haven't.  A lot of low level rumblings set off from feeling happy.  Read it right.  Happy scares the bajeebers out of me.  Don't get me wrong....I really like it.  Over at Elle's blog her post reminded me of why Happy is scary.

http://beingelle.wordpress.com/2012/01/25/bottomless-crazy/

I found sub floors below the garage.  My counselor let me know that I was really messed up.  I finally called myself a 10 per center.  Only 10% of the people seeking counseling are as crazy as I am.  But when you are raised in insanity, craziness = survival.  Now, I am out of insanity and I can let go of the craziness.  Hard to let go of what I know.  PTSD is a living hell that I know the rules and how to live.  Real world, with kind people, and sensible thinking seem just weird sometimes. 

My first comment that I deleted because I realized it was about me and not my friend.  Happiness, good times, comfort, peace are a foreign world that I find a little disturbing sometimes.  I am enthusiastically trying to get the hang of staying happy but the fear still lingers.  Some day even that fear will subside into the mist of my past.   If you are going through hell, keep going......Never stop.......
Quote originally from Winston Churchill...He knew a bit about hell too.