Feminine Wiles

Definition found by Google

they are the womans capability to come up with cunning strategems to manipulate men... thats what feminine wiles are 'normaal' wiles are just ...

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061123085957AANy3qK

I am probably about to tromp on some toes.  Not intended.  I am writing from the negative side of watching my mother manipulate the entire family while she said, "Anything you want dear."  My mother actually taught me how to manipulate situations to get what I want. She showed me how to cover my face so people couldn't see that I wasn't actually upset.  She talked about slumping your shoulders down and shuffling your walk, the whole nine yards.  Passive aggressive much. I also heard the phrase, "My husband may be the head of the family but I am the neck that turns the head." My mother fluttered her hands and said, "I would never do that."  Except that was exactly what she did do.  Fury would bubble inside of me when I watched her sobbing in her hands, then totally dry eyed check to see if my Dad was buying it.  Worked almost every time.  I wasn't sure who pissed me off most my mother with her emotional manipulation, my father for falling for it or myself for not saying anything.  Her emotionality was used like a cat-o-nine tails.  Took several years of talking in counseling just about my mother to start pulling apart the enmeshed narcissistic relationship I had with her.  I, however, was not allowed to have any emotions.  If I was angry I was sinful, if I was happy she would tell me something to bring me down, whatever emotion I showed she manipulated me to control it.  One of the many times I used the words, "I had to.....blah, blah, blah."  KavinCoach asked me if anyone was holding a gun to my head.  There you have it,  feminine wiles were used like a gun to my head.  In my attempt to not be like my mother, I consciously shut down my emotions.  I was successful.  I was accused of being less than a woman more than once.  One of the more stunning times some one told me I didn't have a testimony of Christ because I didn't cry when I talked about Him.  Since when were tears a requirement for faith in Christ?  I remember a young lady student in the computer lab working on a project showing different aspects of women.  She portrayed them sly, cunning, manipulative, nothing positive, at her critique I asked her if she felt women had any positive attributes.  Her professor liked the edginess of her work.  The lady professor glared at me and probably wished she could have ordered me out of the room.  The young lady reviewed her pictures.  The next time I saw her project was her show where she filled the small gallery with images of herself portraying a wide array of attributes of women, positive and negative.  She talked about how uncomfortable she felt making some of the portraits that showed women in a negative light.  In my way of thinking, feminine wiles were a bag of emotionally charged tricks frosted with sexuality to manipulate men to do what they want without consideration of what the man feels about anything.  The lady wants what she wants and by damn come hell or high water she is going to get it.  KavinCoach attempted to teach me that feminine wiles did not need to be used negatively.  Those discussions were an epic fail when I asked quite bluntly why it was needed at all.  What was wrong with just asking for what you want and if the answer is no find another way to meet your needs.  I think during those discussions were the closest I saw KavinCoach to frustrated.  Eventually, he became amused at how clueless I was about feminine wiles.  It was like my mind shut down at the whole concept.  A huge, barbed wired top wall rose up in my mind and cut out my ability to discuss the subject at all.  Nearly blacked out once.  I think he mentally threw up his arms and just worked at getting me to stay in touch with my emotions.